


If You were Him and He was You

by boredomsMuse



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Bros a dick in this, Choices, Controlling Relationships, Drama, F/F, F/M, Grief, I've decided, Jealously, M/M, Not a good relationship, Oh yeah and just Bro in general, Send me ideas of how much of a dick on my blog., The only real triggers I can see here are that Bro dies, Trashy Teen Romance, Unhealthy Relationships, but like its also a from of emotional abuse so you know, canon character death, dubcon kinda, i don't fucking know, i mean like i'd consider it dubcon relationship wise, no sex yet so imma not put the larger ones up yet, plus underage btw, so like
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-03-13 18:38:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3392057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredomsMuse/pseuds/boredomsMuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When your brother died it took everything you had to not fall apart, to wait until you were sure Terezi couldn't see before you cried your eyes out.  She couldn't understand and you couldn't exactly tell here.  Since then you've made sure you are always distracted, and when you're not you've got Karkat, you're moirail, to piece you together.  </p><p>But today's the day that <i>he</i> is meant to show up.  When <i>he</i> does you break down, its been too long for there to be as much grief as there is anger left, so you let it all out on <i>him</i>.</p><p>Not an easy task when he'll win a bet to earn your friendship and you'll slowly start to give more than just friendship to him.</p><p>So what will happen when the winners universe isn't what you will want but what you think you want at the moment?</p><p>You're name is Dave Strider, your brother and lover Bro Strider died when you were 13, now your 16 and your falling for his clone Dirk Strider, one day you'll be 17 and you'll win and lose at the same time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Unbreakable Roofs and Rude Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> A rewrite of my story Falling for you Twice on my old account.  
> Tumblr Version: http://amuseandbored.tumblr.com/post/111456361465/if-you-were-him-and-he-was-you  
> Pester me on tumblr for updates but I'l try to upload every week. 
> 
> \--------
> 
> This Dirk, who’s faster than you, calmer than you, taller than you, who’s everything your brother was, is NOT your brother.

The roofs on the meteor must be made of something extremely strong to be able to survive the glare you’re giving yours.  Honestly, why did people start the saying ‘a glare hot enough to burn a hole through lead’ because you’re pretty damn sure that no matter how hot your glare gets you’re not going to break the roof and have crumble down upon you, crushing you and effectively getting you out of today.

 

Would that count as justified?  You know it wouldn’t be heroic, the reason you’re lying on your bed glaring up at the stupid, unbreakable grey roof is because you’re being a coward.

 

You don’t want to meet him.  You don’t need to meet him, you already hate him.

 

“Stop glaring at the roof dumbass and get the fuck up.  They’ve already fucking arrived and you’re already fucking late.“  He didn’t knock.  Of course not, he never knocks.  Hasn’t needed to in ages.

 

“Leave me to wallow in my hate Karkat.” You tell him.  “I’m doing a very important experiment at moments, shits so important bro.  Bitches gonna be lining up to read my results, all written in Times New Roman font size 12.5, a whole 15 pages and everything, ‘cause you gotta remember kids the only difference between science and mucking around is writing shit down and I have every intention to write this shit down when it’s finished, might make it Comic Sans font instead, just for the irony, but it ain’t finished so l can’t leave this spot.”

 

“Oh my fucking- Did you even take a fucking _breath_ in between spewing that shit like your waste chute and your protein hole changed places or were you trying to fucking choke yourself on your own bullshittery?”  Karkat groans.  “Get your lazy ass the fuck up right goddamn now or so help me Strider.”  He adds demandingly.

 

“No thanks.”  You hum.

 

“Do need to go get Kanaya and send her in with her chainsaw?  Or should I fucking destroy can town in front of Mayor, because l will if you don’t move your pink fleshy ass nooksniffer.”  He threatens.

 

“Trying ta kick can town?  Come on Karkles, that’s low, so fucking low, sides l don’t think you’d even do it.  Not even you’re that much of a douche.”  You tell him.

 

“Want to try me fucker?”  Karkat glares at you, you can feel it in the side of your head, maybe Karkat could burn a hole in the roof and cause it to collapse.  “Egbert’s probably bouncing off the fucking walls waiting for your ugly face to finally make an appearance, god knows why he’d fucking want that.”  The statement holds a little less of the usual Karkat-venom that goes with almost all of his words and you sigh, finally giving up on glaring at the roof and turning to sit up so you can look at him. 

 

“Karkat…”  You start, speaking softly.  

 

“No, fuck you, we are not having a feelings jam right now.  You know what we are doing right.  The fuck.  Now?  Going to meet six assholes we’ve waited, oh I don’t know, 3 fucking _years_ for.  So move it.  Now.”  He’s growling and glaring at you and you know he’s going to drag you if you don’t wiling go with him and while you really, _really_ don’t want to go you’d also rather not have the first time you and John meet be after you’ve been dragged kicking and screaming by a nubby and angry little leprechaun of a troll.  So, reluctantly you sigh and pull yourself onto your feet, making a huge show of how much effect it takes.

 

Karkat just rolls his eyes and waits for you to go first so he can make sure you go.  Damn him.  Smart troll.  Best friend.

 

~~~

 

The walk towards the computer lab you’re meant to be meeting everyone in is silent and unbearably short.  You look over to Karkat and know that he’s doing the same thing you are, dreading you meeting someone that, inevitably, you will have to.  The difference between your worries is that Karkat’s dreading when you’ll meet John while your nerves stem from someone slightly more orange.

 

You stop right outside the entrance to the lab, able to hear the ruckus inside already, and turn to Karkat.

 

“Hey Karkles.”  You start.

 

“What?”  He snaps back, looking at you with a sharp glare that tells you that you just destroyed his train of thought, probably crashed it into a wall of already planned denials that the train ever existed.  Honestly you’re glad, because you know exactly what train of thought that was.

 

You pull down your shirt to show your left shoulder and the diamond that surrounded the cancer symbol done in pink ink.

 

“I’m not going to ditch you, promise.”  You say, giving him a reassuring smile.  You see the hint of a smile on his lips that he gives you in response before you both head inside to the computer lab.

 

It takes you three seconds to decide there should never be more than one version of John or Jade in a single room at any one given time and right now there are two versions of each.  It’s terrible.  And loud.  Jade (who has dog ears now?) is practically bouncing along with another black haired, green eyed boy who is wearing _golden underpants_ (you feel like there is an ‘I see London’ joke there).  The two are talking with Terezi and Mayor (who you’ll have to warn about Karkat’s threats on Can Town).  You think you hear Jade call him a cute mayor, which is a compliment you certainly agree with.

 

The other black haired girl has blue eyes (and you must admit is pretty hot) and is chatting with Rose, Kanaya and a blonde girl with pink eyes who you can only assume is Rose’s mum (and your mum?).  Gamzee’s standing around with them and the second you met eyes with him you start glaring at him, he smirks back and taps the shoulder of someone you elected to ignore when taking stock of everyone because there’s no way that that _can’t_ be him.

 

You’re going to fucking murder Gamzee Makara because _he_ turns and looks right at you and there is no way it could be anyone else, he’s wearing shades of fucking _pink_ and _purple_ and you think you need to go back in time to the 80’s so you can call so you can state that those are pants the 80’s won’t even take back because they are so stupid.  The same to his stupid shades that are the _fucking same_ as the ones you have stashed away.  The same to his stupid fucking hair.

 

But he doesn’t actually fucking _look stupid_.  No.  He makes it work.  All the stupid gear and he still manages to look good and you hate that.

 

He looks like he’s about to start walking towards you and you start to panic because you have no way to avoid him right now and you really want to avoid him.

 

You’re never been more grateful to be tackled by a blue mas of fabric and dork in your life, although you don’t recall ever having been tackled by a blue mass of fabric and dork before.

 

“DAAAAAAAAVE!!!!!!!!”  The blue mass excitedly shouts and you smile a little.

 

“Sup Egdork, thanks for the warning before you tackled me to the ground there by the way bro, seriously that was brilliant, much appreciated.”  You chuckle at him and he smiles back, giving you a joking punch in shoulder.

 

“Oh shut up Dave.  I’m just really excited to finally meet you!”  His grins at you.

 

“Really?  Couldn’t tell.”  You tease him, resting on your elbows while he sits on your legs.

 

“I really missed you.”  He smiles before he begins to rant about his life in the past three years that you haven’t seen him during.  You hear Karkat wince between you.

 

“And I thought it wasn’t fucking possible to rant more than Strider, I have underestimated you and how insufferable you are John.”  Karkat comments and you scoff.

 

“Please Karkat, you rant more than I do.”  You tell him.  John’s face somehow manages to brighten when he sees Karkat and he gets off of you, standing back up.

 

“If you tackle me I will fucking stab you.”  Karkat glares at him but John seems unfazed.

 

“Fine, I won’t tackle you.”  He smiles, standing an arm’s length apart from Karkat for a moment with a big smile before wrapping his arms tightly around Karkat.  “But you never said anything about hugging.”  He smiles as he holds the annoyed troll tight.  To everyone else Karkat looks like he’s going to blow a fuse, but you know better.  The two get caught up in conversion and you can’t help but appreciate the irony of the fact Karkat was afraid of losing you to John.

 

You don’t squeak when you get pulled towards the slowly merging group of blonds and black haired gods/goddesses, trolls and mayor.  That was not a squeak and you will deny it being a squeak until you’re your dying breath.

 

Apparently it was Jade that pulled you towards the group at least you assume so since she wrapped her arms around your neck the second you got there.

 

“Ouch, what is it with you and John and shoving me around so much?”  You complain, making sure not to look at _him_.  “I am not some rag doll puppet thing Jade, in face I highly dislike puppets, why must you treat me like one?”  You dramatize.

 

“You’re the one who made the connection you big dork.”  Jade giggles.

 

“Is the MOTHERFUCKING BABY getting’ sore?”  Gamzee mocks you and you raise your middle finger to him.

 

“It’s so good to see you alive Dave!  I am so sorry oh my gosh I didn’t mean to, you don’t hate me do you?”  Jade asks and it took you a moment to remember what she’s talking about.  You died so many times that day and it had actually slipped your mind that she’d killed you.

 

“Course not Harley.”  You hum.  “It was like three years ago.  Sides, it’s not like it was a surprise for me.”  You add with a shrug.  After all, you knew she had to kill you.  “It’s good to see you too, alive and well with weird doggy additions.”  You tease, toying with the ears on the top of her head and finding that they were very much attached to her head.

 

“My ears are awesome!  At least I didn’t get stuck with a lame ass cape.”  She teases back.

 

“Aye, don’t dis the cape, my cape is the coolest shit ever.”  You say with a final smirk.

 

“I ain’t SEEN ANYTHING motherfucking dumber THAT the shit that is YOUR MOTHERFUCKING CAPE.”  Gamzee mocks you.  You think _he_ might be opening his mouth to say something and you don’t care whose side he’s on you beat him to the punch.

 

“Guess you haven’t looked in a mirror then.”  You mock back.  “Can’t say I’m surprised, they probably all broke when you tried.”

 

“Am I sensing some spades between you two?”  Rose smirks at you both.

 

“Oh.  My.  Gosh!  Yesh!”  The suspiciously drunk looking girl agrees with her daughter/mother/Rose.

 

“No!”  You and Gamzee both shout at the same time before turning to glare at each other. 

 

“Not waxing any colour FOR THIS LUMP OF WASTELESS weak flesh, not even motherFUCKING BLACK.”  Gamzee scowls at you.

 

“Unlike _some people_ I actually care about the emotions of others and even if I didn’t I wouldn’t want anything with _that_.”  You growl back.  “Why don’t you just go pray to your emoticons and leave us  sane people alone.”  You add.

 

“Why yOU MOTHERFUCKING-“ Gamzee raises his hand and you get ready for a strife only or Terezi to grab Gamzee’s hand

 

“Well I suppose that’s enough talking.”  She says.  “Sorry for stepping in so late Strider but it was amusing.”  She adds with a chuckle, starting to lend the fuming troll out of the room.

 

It was the strangest thing when the two stopped being at each other’s necks 24/7.  Rose explained that it was simply the both of them realizing that their relationship had simply been to punish themselves and not each other and they slowly began to fix each other instead of breaking each other. 

 

But that didn’t make you any less mad at the both of them, mostly on Karkat’s behalf.  Who cares if Kanaya and Rose agreed that both Gamzee and Terezi needed someone who’d done what they had, and was as quick to violence as they were.  It didn’t make anything feel any less of an insult to Karkat.

 

“Golly was that what you call black flirting Roxy?”  The male Jade in golden underwear asks.

 

“Yep, wonk.”  The drunk girl, Roxy you guess, giggles and winks at him.

 

“Nop.”  You say.  “That was completely regular I actually want you dead conversion.  How do you even know what black flirting is?” 

 

“Roxy and I grew up in a post-apocalyptic earth where trolls took over so quadrants were pretty common knowledge for us.”  _He_ says.  You’ll admit that it sounds like an interesting thing to ask about but it’s _him_ talking so you brush it off.

 

“Well, whatever.”  You shrug.  “Rose, I’m changing my bet.  3 weeks tops.”  You say, mostly as a way to change the subject to something _he_ can’t put his two cents in.

 

“Oh?”  Rose smirks lightly.  “Someone finally seeing how clear it is?”  You shrug.

 

“I told you I wouldn’t be sure until today.”  You tell her.  “You were warned.”

 

“Oh!  A good ol’ gentlemen’s bet!  What is it that you happen to be betting on?”  Jake asks excitedly.  You were sure there was no one that could top John in dorkiness or Jade in excitedness but Jake has done both.

 

“Karkat and John.”  Rose hums.

 

“Hehe, you guys noticed it too?”  Jade snickers.

 

“Oooooh, what about them are we betting on?”  Roxy grins.

 

“We?”  You raise an eyebrow.

 

“Yes, we, silly, Mama Roxy is totally getting in on this, what’s the prize?”  Roxy grins.

 

“Don’t even try to argue with her she’s not one to back down.”  _He_ says, looking at you, but you ignore him.

 

“The betted products are boonleans and the task of making bevrages.”  Kanaya tells Roxy.  “All in an effort to see who is closest to guessing when Karkat and John will begin dating, or the condition of the two dating.  As it stands I have voted not until one of them almost dies, Terezi believes it won’t be until John asks Karkat out, Rose believes it will be in a month and that the both of them shall have most likely spoken with Dave considering the closeness of the three, Karkat most likely would have talked to myself and John to Rose as well before hand to try to decide when, where and how to ask and they’ll do it at roughly the same time at a movie marathon of some sort.”  Kanaya begins to go on but is cut off.

 

“That’s awfully exact.”  The female John comments.

 

“I am a light player.”  Rose smiles at her.

 

You fake coughing and add “You mean a cheat” but Rose just gives you the ‘sore loser’ look.

 

“And Dave has changed his bet from 6 weeks to 3, saying that it will be after Karkat gets fed up with John not catching onto his hints and kisses John.”  Kanaya finishes.

 

“Oh!  I’m betting it’ll be on an important date and John will be overly cliché about it which Karkat will adore.”  Jade voted.

 

“Does anyone even remember what the date is?”  The male Jade comments.

 

“I do.”  You say.  “Down to the second.”  You’re not showing off, not at all.  You don’t want _him_ to think you’re impressive.  Nop.  “I’m a time player.”  You tell the green eyed boy that gives you a confused look.

 

“Guys!”  John pulls Karkat over to the group.  “We didn’t introduce everyone probably!” 

 

“John, I think we can all do introductions without having to do some kindergartener circle of names.”  You say.

 

“Nonsense!”  The green eyes boy says.  “Introductions are important, going around in the circle seems like a bloody grand idea!  Golly how could we have forgotten such a blasted important thing?” 

 

“Does he always talk like this?”  You ask Jade, chuckling a little.

 

“Yeah, you get used to it after a while.”  Dirk answers and you realizes he’s slowly made his way to your other side. 

 

“I wasn’t asking you.”  You say your first words to him rather rudely and it seems to take him a little by surprise.  Jade look at you with a frown before looking to Dirk than decides to stay out of it.  She heads to stand with Karkat, leaving John on you left.

 

“I’ll start us off!”   The green eyed boy seems to not have any idea of the interaction despite the fact that he’s standing next to Dirk.  “My name is Jake English and it’s a pleasure to finally meet you all!”  He does this thing with his fingers, like two pistols, and winks and you have to admit it’s kind of charming.

 

“My name is Kanaya Maryam, if we’re going by first and last names although you can just call me Kanaya.”  Kanaya, whose standing on Jakes right, introduces.

 

“While I am quite sure you all know my name already, it is Rose Lalonde.”  Rose, who is standing with Kanaya and holding her hand, says next.

 

“Myyyyyy name is Roxy Lalonde, yall better remember it.”  Roxy smiles from Roses side.

 

“Hello.  My names Jane Crocker.”  The blue eyed girl to Roxy’s right continues.  “It’s very nice to meet you all.”

 

“I’m Jade Harley of course, bark!”  Jade smiles before blushing and covering her mouth.  “Sorry.”  You chuckle and smile at her.

 

“This is so fucking stupid.”  Karkat groans.  “You’re all acting like wrigglers.”

 

“Aw, come on Karkles play nice.”  You tease.  “Opps, said you’re name, guess we can skip you.”

 

“Fuck you Strider.”  Karkat glared.

 

“Yeah Dave, I mean you know he’s names Beep Beep Moew.”  John joins in, grinning.

 

“Egbert you’re a fucking prick!  My name is Karkat fucking Vantas, happy now?!”  He snaps, giving in.

 

“Very Karkat fucking Vantas.”  John teases at the same moment you said “Who I this Vantas you’re fucking.”  You both get middle fingers but it was totally worth it and it takes a moment for you both to stop laughing enough to high five.

 

“Anyway, everyone knows me, I’m John Egbert.”  John says in between laughs, wiping his eyes.

 

“Dave Strider.”  You say, a smirk the only sign of your previous laughter.

 

“Dirk Strider.”  He barely misses a heartbeat after your words and uses the same cool, controlled voice.  You hate him.

 

“The two that were here before were Terezi and Gamzee.”  Rose adds.

 

“Where’d they go?”  John asks.

 

“Who cares?”  You shrug back.  Although you still do actually care about Terezi.  “And that cutie over there is Mayor.”  You said, heading over to help Mayor grab the can that’s just out of reach. 

 

“Oh my god he’s adorable!”  Roxy squeals.

 

The group starts to talk between themselves.  John and Karkat came over to chat with you and Mayor and you tend to keep the group of you away from Dirk. 

 

However you notice he manages to find a beeline to you and there’s nowhere for you to go.  So naturally you decide you need to leave, seeing no other way out of talking to him.  Plus it’s been hours since the others arrived and you can bullshit being tired.  Which you do.

 

“I’m heading to bed.”  You announce to the people around you.  “Night.”  With that you flashstep from the lab towards your bedroom.

 

Dirk manages to be leaning against the door with ‘dave’ written on it in red pen and various other nicknames like ‘COOL K1D’ in teal and ‘ASSHOLE WITH THE LOCKED DOOR’ in grey from tht one time you slept in and locked Karkat out.

 

“Sup.”  He greets and you glare at him, standing with your arms across your chest.

 

“Not creepy or stalker like at all there.”  You say sarcastically.  “Get lost I’m heading to bed.”

 

“Why are you avoiding me?”  He asks, getting straight to the point ad ignoring you like you have been him.

 

“No one said I was.”  You totally were.

 

“I’m not an idiot, actually I’m a genius.”  If you were giving slightly more fucks you might notice he is bragging.

 

“Good for you, go away now.”  You say, making a ‘shoo’ gesture.

 

“Not until you tell me why you’re avoiding me bro.”  You clench your fist at the last word.  This boy is not your brother.

 

This Dirk, who’s faster than you, calmer than you, taller than you, who’s everything your brother was, is **_NOT_** your brother.

 

“Don’t call me that, you’re not my Bro.”  You snap at him.  “You’re not my brother.  Just leave me the _fuck_ alone.”  You manage to push the boy out of the way of your door due to the fact your response surprised him.  You’d never have surprised your brother, he’d have already ran through the situation in his mind and been ready for it.

 

You get into your room and slam the door in his face before sinking into your bed, although you can’t get to sleep until you feel Karkat get in next to you and take your shades off your face with a mutter of ‘moron’ 20 minutes later.


	2. Pathetic Excuses and Easy Bets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The problem is that you look and act like his fucking brother so every time he fucking sees you he thinks of his brother and considering, like every other fucking bulgelicker’s guardian, his brother’s fucking dead that’s hard for him, especially considering-… well, yeah, anyway. He doesn’t fucking want someone that’s not his brother reminding him of his brother. Being the stupid fucking nook sniffer of a pink fleshy monkey that he is he blames you for that. Even though, surprisingly enough, it’s not your fault..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this was meant to be updated a month ago.... yeah opps. I'm not going to manage to update every week I lied. Every month seems much ore reasonable XD

He does not leave you alone.

 

You swear he makes every damn excuse to be in the same breathing space as you.  You hate it because every little thing reminds you of your brother.

 

From the way he steps and stands to the way his lips twitch up slightly when you or someone else says, does, or mentions something that he finds amusing.  He doesn’t take his eyes off you either, even if it’s just out of the corner of his eye.  Despite Karkat’s multiple attempts at telling you the only way you’d know that is if you never take your eyes off of him either you’d never actually admit that he’s right.

 

Everything he does reminds you of Bro, expect not enough for you to actually see him as Bro.

 

What’s creepy is how often he follows you out of a room.  This might be because you leave a room after you notice him making plans to talk or come over to you but that is clearly not the point.

 

The point is that he is incapable of acknowledging the hints you’re practically drowning him in at the moment.  Like right now, for example, when you’re skilfully heading towards your room and he is following behind, trying to get your attention.  You don’t realize that he’s catching up with you until he grabs your shoulder tightly and pulls you back, stopping you from walking off again by pressing you against the nearest wall, which isn’t that far away since the halls of the meteor are pretty damn narrow.

 

“For fucks sake Dave!”  He’s is clearly losing his cool, you you’re kind of glad about and maybe a little proud too.  “Will you stop being a complete asshole and let me talk to you already?!”  He demands, clearly mad and maybe a little upset, although you ignore the last bit.

 

“Let me go Dirk.”  You glare back, not even giving him an answer.

 

“Why do you hate me?”  He asks, there’s more desperation and sorrow in the words than his previous angry sentences but you still ignore that right now.

 

“You said it, not me.”  You shrug, you’re being a jerk but you don’t care.  You make sure to look everywhere but Dirk.

 

“I was really looking forward to meeting you.”  Dirk tells you.  “Like, really looking forward to it, I thought it was going to be awesome, finally getting to meet a version of the brother I spent my whole life wanting to see outside a video screen, to meet in real life.”  He admits.  “Why is it so hard for you to give me a chance?” 

 

“Because the feeling isn’t mutual!”  You glare.  “Because I didn’t want to meet you, I never once wanted to meet you.  I want to avoid you, I wanted you to never show up.  The only reason we met is because all of my friends are dicks, I wanted nothing to do with you and I still want nothing to do with you, I hate you, leave me alone damn it.”  As you speak you take Dirk by surprise for long enough to push him away and storm off.

 

Clearly he expected a different reaction.

 

You tell yourself you don’t care.

 

* * *

 

 

You will not leave him alone. 

 

You need him to give you a chance, if after that he still doesn’t want you around you’ll leave him alone but you just need to get that chance that he’s not giving you.  So you spend a night planning out your opinions alone as you normally would before deciding you needed more data.  You figure the best idea is to go to Rose for information and advice, not a thing that you would normally do.

 

Rose and you have gotten along pretty well since arriving and it’s been pretty cool to have someone else to exclusively gay who also sees things similar to you, by which you mean in a way no one else does.  Plus she’s known Dave or the longest of all the humans since she was on the meteor with him so you’re sure she’ll be able to help.

 

Still it’s hard to find people on a giant meteor with more halls than makes logical sense.  Eventually you do find her, cuddled up with the troll girl she’s dating, you think her names Kanaya or something.  You give them a slight wave as you walk over.

 

“Sup Rosie, needing a hand with a problem.”  You state.  “Sorry if I’m interrupting a secret smooching session that would have’ve lead to a lot more clotheslessness but mind if I steal you for a bit?” 

 

“Well since you killed the mood anyway I suppose we could have a pause in our clotheslessness plans.”  Rose hums.  “Unless you’d like to join in that is oh handsome mister Strider.”  You know it’s a joke and that’s the only reason you make a face in response.

 

“Think I’m going to have to pass on that one.”  You hum.

 

“Then off to our little chat, I presume it’s about young David, jerky heartthrob of the meteor?”  Rose says, giving her lover a kiss on the cheek and promising a swift return as she stands and leads you away from her and Kanaya’s secret cuddle corner.

 

One more thing Rose is better at than you is reading cool kids.  And, if you’re being honest, reading people in general.  You’d never admit that though.

 

“The one and only.”  There’s no point lying to her or sugar coating it since it’s the whole reason you need her aid.

 

“What is it that he’s done this time?”  Rose asks, ceasing her walking when you are both around the corner and there is enough wall space for you to lean against.

 

“He’s been ignoring and avoiding me since I got here.”  You start.

 

“I am aware.”  Rose cuts you off but you continue anyway.

 

“And today I was kind of fed up with it, so I spilled my heart out about the whole wanting to meet him shit, by which I mean I pinned him to a wall, said a couple of heart felt sentences and demanded that he tell me why the hell he was avoiding me.”  You explain the event.

 

“Pinning him to a wall was possibly not the best course of action but do continue.”  She gestures to you with her hand.

 

“So he told me, and went on about how he never wanted to meet me and how he hates me and I want to know why so I can change his mind.”  You complete your retelling.  “I figured you’d know why.”  You add why you came to Rose over Roxy, Jane or Jake.

 

“You are correct I do know why.  But I do not believe that it is my place to tell say.”  She hums softly and you raise an eyebrow at her.

 

“When has that ever stopped you before?”  You ask.  You may not have known her very long but if there’s one thing you’ve learnt about Rose it’s that she does not understand the term ‘privacy’.

 

“This juicy piece of housewife gossip is different from my normal spill.”  She says.  “Mainly because it was something he attempted to do a very good job of hiding from me, and everyone for that matter.  It’s also something he is still not aware that I know about, although I suppose that is like most of my gossip.” 

 

“Are you suggesting I ask Dave?   Because I quite clearly just explained how that doesn’t actually work and how he won’t tell me anything of actual value when I’m trying to get him to like me.”  You roll your eyes behind your shades.

 

“No, of not.  I do not give bad advice, honestly I would hope you had more faith in me than that Dirk.”  Rose chuckles.  “I am suggesting that you speak to Karkat, whom Dave would not kill for telling you and is liable for any and all damages that way.”

 

“What makes you think that Karkat will want to talk to me, let alone want to him me?”  You ask, not completely fond of the idea of taking to any of the trolls, let alone the troll that is always by Dave’s side.

 

“Because we have spoken about it.”  Rose assures you.  “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a lovely lady waiting in the room nearby and a gentleman such as yourself must know to never keep a lady waiting.”  She smiles.  “I believe John and Karkat are marathoning each other’s terrible movies in John’s room.”  She adds before leaving to re-join Kanaya.

 

You sigh softly, not wanting to go talk to the troll.  You dislike trolls, you have trouble trusting them.  Okay, honestly, yeah, they scare you.  It’s a pretty understandable fear considering you grew up knowing that any day a troll could send her drones to kill you, which she did at one point, that a troll was the reason you were the only human you were ever going to meet in person, a troll had killed your brother and was the reason you only had him in videos.

 

But you try to practice what you preach.  So while you don’t normally go actively looking for any of them you don’t avoid them or ignore them.

 

For the moment though you decide you’ll need to give up your troll problems and go seek one out.  You gather yourself with a deep breath and take the roughly 30 minute trip to John’s room.

 

It seriously is an illogically large labyrinth of corridors and labs that make up the meteor.

 

When you get to the boy in blues door you knock.

 

“Fuck off.”  A rough voice calls almost immediately after you knock and at almost the same time as a chirpy voice calls out “Come in!”  You decide to listen to the familiar cheery voice and open the door, stepping inside.

 

“Sup John, Karkat.”  You greet them both.  John gives you a wave but Karkat seems hooked on the television.

 

“Hey Dirk!”  John smiles up at you.

 

“Go away asshole.”  Karkat snaps. 

 

“Sorry bro, just need to ask you about something.”  You tell him.

 

“I’m clearly really fucking busy.”  Karkat argues.

 

“Clearly it wasn’t John’s pick of movie then.”  You tease the black haired boy, who pouts in response.

 

“My movies are not that bad.”  He claims.

 

“Yes they are.”  You and Karkat both say at the same time.

 

“You guys are so mean!  Nic Cage and action movies are literally the best.”  John whines.

 

“It’ll just take a minute Karkat.”  You say, ignoring John’s terrible movie sense. 

 

“The movie will still be hear when you get back.”  John helps.  “And it’ll mean no one’s talking over them when you get back.”  He adds.

 

“You fucking talk over them nooksniffer.”  Karkat huffs back.

 

“That is beside the point go speak to Dirk you big baby.”  John giggles and shoves Karkat towards you.  You think you might have just interrupted your second lead to make outs and nakedness moment for the day, especially when Karkat glares and then _growls_ at you when you both leave the room to leave against the door frame.  You’re pretty sure it was meant to be delivered angrily but it’s actually kind of adorable.

 

“You’ve exactly one fucking minute, what the fuck do you want bulgelicker?”  He demands so you get straight to the point.

 

“Why does Dave hate me?”  You ask and you seems a little taken back for a moment before returning to an impersonation of the grumpy cat meme.

 

“Finally fucking talk to Rose?  God, just like her to dump this fucking shit on me with no goddamn warning.”  He grumbles.

 

“She said you’d talked about it before.  Can you just tell me what’s up?”  You roll your eyes.  “What could I have done before we even met?”  Karkat sighs softly.

 

“It’s not you asshole, you didn’t do a fucking thing, yet.”  He quickly clears that up but it doesn’t really help.  “The problem is that you look and act like his fucking brother so every time he fucking sees you he thinks of his brother and considering, like every other fucking bulgelicker’s guardian, his brother’s fucking _dead_ that’s hard for him, especially considering-… well, yeah, anyway.  He doesn’t fucking want someone that’s not his brother reminding him of his brother.  Being the stupid fucking nook sniffer of a pink fleshy monkey that he is he blames you for that.  Even though, surprisingly enough, it’s not your fault.  If anything its Johns fucking fault for scratching the game, which he did because of Jade’s asshole of a guardian’s existence in the medium.  Basically it’s everyone else’s fucking fault but not yours.”  After you filter out all the swearing, the insults and the bullshit you think you have a clearish picture of what he means.

 

“So, how do I change his mind?”  You ask after a moment and Karkat groans. 

 

“Why do I have to do all the fucking thinking around here?”  He snaps.  “I don’t fucking know convince him to talk to you, convince him you’re not trying to copy his brother, that you’re you and not Bro.  Or just find a way to get him to spend some fucking time with you so he figures it out himself, challenge him to something or make a fucking bet you’ll know he’ll lose.  He’d be too damn proud or too fucking stupid to turn it down.  Which works out well for basically anyone that wants to get him to do fucking anything.”  Karkat rants, and if you were anyone else you might have lost track of what he was saying after the first rapid sentence though.

 

You’re you though and you smirk lightly, an idea forming in your mind.

 

“I’ve got the perfect idea.”  You decide.  “Thanks Karkat.”  You add, turning on heel to head off.

 

“You’re fucking welcome asshole.”  He replies, grumbling about how at least someone has enough manners to thank him as he walks back into John’s room and his terrible movie, slamming the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s not for another 3 hours kid.  Calm down.”  You jump despite yourself and mentally curse yourself when your brother appear behind you.  Honestly, you should be used to it by now.

 

“Exactly, and it’ll take an hour and a half to get there and my hair still looks like shit.”  You tell him as you try to fix your hair.  He raises an eyebrow at you.

 

“It’ll take 45 minutes to get there lil’ man, an hour if traffic’s bad.”  He says.  “So calm down.  Your hair looks fine.”  He promise, raising his hands up to help and you should have known better and moved away because he quickly messes it up completely on you.  You let out an ungodly ‘gah!’ and attempt to get him away from you only for Bro to start laughing his stupid chest chuckle of a laugh that you actually do not think is at all stupid.

 

“Bro you are the worst!”  You tell him, going back to trying to fix your hair with haste after he finally stops his attacks.  He smirks and goes to actually fixing your hair properly, making it look pretty nice.

 

“You look fine.”  He hums and wraps his arms around your waist.  “In fact you look really good in a suit.”  He adds, kissing your neck softly. 

 

There’s a loud banging on the door and you jump awake.  You’d barely fallen asleep and this asshole decides to wake you up that’s just rude.   You’re not sure how long you were sleeping for, yes you do 56 minutes and 6 seconds, but you know it wasn’t long.  Screw the person on the other side of the door, this better be important.

 

When you finally manage to drag yourself over to the door and open it you find Dirk you change the phrasing of your last sentence from ‘screw’ to ‘fuck’ wait no to ‘stab’.  Which is totally a sentence.  Shut up.

 

“What have you got against my sleep?”  You gare at him.  “What do you want?”

 

“A strife.”  He says calmly.  “If I win you have to give me a chance, just for a week, no avoiding me just getting to know me.”  He adds.

 

“And if I win?”  You ask, rolling your eyes.

 

“Then I’ll leave you alone, forever, no more trying to talk to you or anything at all.”   He offers.  “Seems a fair trade, right?  Unless you’re too scared.”  He adds the last line with a smirk.

 

“You’re on.”  You decide, glaring at him at the suggestion of being scared.

 

“To the roof then.”  He smirks and flashsteps up to the roof.  You’re quick to follow him up the stairs to the roof of the meteor building.  “No powers.”  He declares as you both take out your swords and stand at the ready in your stances.

 

Then you start.

 

He waits for you to make the first move but he doesn’t have to wait long.  You’re already pissed and the fact that he’s waiting for you doesn’t help that.  Neither does the fact you’ve missed strifing with someone who actually knows how to use a katana.

 

You flashstep towards him and strike, a clean above the arm strike and down from his shoulder to his waist but Dirk doesn’t have any trouble blocking.

 

“You’ve got to do better than that to win bro.”  He smirks and you glare darker.

 

“Don’t call me that!”  You snap and attack again, continuously but only landing a few blows.  “You are not my brother.  You are not my Bro, stop acting like you are just because you kind of act like him and you kind of look like him and you’re some stupid paradox clone of him that John accidently made.  You’re not my Bro, you’ll never be _my_ Bro so **stop** acting like you are!”  With ever phrase you rain down blow after blow, motivated by anger and frustration, fuelled by grief and guilt.

 

You know it’s cruel, you know it’s unfair, you know Dirk isn’t Bro, you know he isn’t trying to be, but you’re angry.   There’s so much to deal with, so much on your shoulders, so much you should have done, so many people you’ve lost, so many thing you didn’t get to say.  You’ve got nothing to take but all your anger and emotions, crying sessions with Karkat only get you so far when you were raised to take anger out in strifes, in punches and kicks, not in tears.  You know it’s not fair to put Dirk into the centre of that anger those emotions you try (and normally fail) to hide but that he has not once done anything against.  Right now though you couldn’t care less.

 

There’s only one downfall to your frustrated method of strifing; it makes you easier than normal to defeat.

 

He’s not as good as your brother, not yet, but he’s clearly still better than you and it doesn’t take too many blows or too many minutes before your sword is forced from your hand and flies to the other side of the roof, leaving you open and with no weapon to defend yourself with when Dirk pins you to a wall (again) and presses the blade of his sword against your neck.  It’s an undebatable win.

 

“I’m not fucking trying to be ‘your Br’.”  He says, only a little out of breath.  “You’re not giving me a chance to be anyone Dave, I don’t want to be Bro, I don’t want to act like him or look like him but I never met him so I can’t avoid what he was.”  Dirks words are venomous as he speaks, his done being compared to some he never knew.  Still, he manages to retain his cool, which you’ve clearly lost over the past few weeks.  “I’m trying to be me, so that you can get to know _me_.  And me just won the strife and the bet so I can get to know you over the next week and not the tantrum throwing brat you’ve been acting like, since I really doubt that’s you.”  Dirk pulls away from you and puts his sword away while you glare at him, simply because you aren’t sure what else to do.

 

You know he’s right.

 

“So will you please let me now?”  His voice is calmer and much softer now, although Dirk strains the word ‘please’ to prove his bought about how long you’ve been giving him shit for no reason.  You huff and cross your arms across your chest, looking to the left, where your shitty sword lays 3 or 4 meters from you.

 

“Whatever.”  You mumble, walking towards the crappy piece of metal.  “I’m not the kind of ass that goes back on my word.  You’ve got a week.”  From the corner of you eye you see his lips tilt slightly into a small, barely there smile as he starts to stretch. 

 

  1.   Bro never smiled like that.  Bro smirked, never smiled.



 

“Awesome, I’m heading to bed.”  He yawns, heading towards the small door that leads down into the meteors building.  “Night Dave.”

 

“Night.”  You mutter back, wondering what to expect from the week ahead.


	3. New Impressions and Perfect Meals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Fuck off.” You groan. “I’m asleep.” You aren’t even sure the sounds you make form the words you’re thinking off with the way your face is pressed into your pillow and your brain is still too tired from sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently all it takes to get me to update is a comment that makes me smile like the dork I am.  
> Thanks Psymon, I wrote this one for you.

You’re woken up by loud knocking on your door.  With a groan you grab a pillow and put it over your head, trying to ignore the sound and to will it away. 

 

It doesn’t stop.

 

“Fuck off.”  You groan.  “I’m asleep.”  You aren’t even sure the sounds you make form the words you’re thinking off with the way your face is pressed into your pillow and your brain is still too tired from sleep.

 

“Don’t make me come in there to wake you bro.”  Apparently it’s Dirk that’s mercilessly pounding on your door.  If this is his fresh start it’s not going very well yet.

 

2\. Bro never called you ‘bro’, as much as you were telling Dirk off for saying it.

 

“Come back in an hour.”  You groan.  He does not leave you alone.  At some point feel someone pull away both your blanket and pillow.

 

“Get the fuck up and get that nook sniffer the fuck out of here.  I’m trying to sleep.”  Karkat growls.  You groan and make a blind grab for your blanket and pillow.  Karkat grabs your arm and pulls up off of the bed.  You let out an ‘oof’ as you hit the cold and hard ground by the bed. 

 

“You’re a dick.”  You tell Karkat who flips you off before he cuddles himself into a cocoon of blankets and pillows, grumbling and trying to settle back into sleep.  You grumble yourself as you get up to answer the door.

 

Dirk stands there already dressed, hair gelled, leaning against the wall.  “Morning sleeping beauty.”  He greets your boxer-only bed headed self as you glare at him.

 

“I hate you.”  You tell him, although it lacks the passion you had yesterday and he just smirks widely at you.  It still sounds rude though.

  
“Not a morning person?”  He says innocently.

 

“If you looked up the opposite of a morning person in the Pictionary of words with pictures you would find my face.”  You tell him.  “What do you want and why does to have to be at whatever god damn hour this happens to be?”  You’re trying to be snarky and angry but you can’t help but be terrible at keeping a grudge that the other doesn’t really deserve so soon after being awoke.

 

“To hang, what else?”  He hums.  “I want to get to know you, remember?” 

 

“And why couldn’t this be at a time that doesn’t make me want to kill you?  It’d be completely just by the way, and you’d find that on your grave they’re be ‘Here lies Dirk Strider, a brave foul who woke a sleeping Dave and paid the price with his immortality’.”  You ramble at him, you think you actually here him chuckle a little.

 

“I’ve only got a week, remember?  Can’t waste any time I get to spend with you.  Go get dressed bro.”  Yep, he’s chuckling.  It’s a hearty, deep noise, just a little higher than when Bro would chuckle.  It’s nice, although you don’t note that at all. 

 

               3. Bro’s voice is deeper.

 

“Yeah, yeah, give me a minute.”  You say, yawning and closing the door to through on your god tier outfit. 

 

“Could you be any fucking louder?”  Karkat groans from his cocoon. 

 

“SORRY WHAT WAS THAT KARKLES?”  You shout, just to annoy him.  The pillow thrown at your face is totally worth it. 

 

After you get dressed you head out into the corridor where Dirk’s waiting for you. 

 

“So what hellish activity are you forcing me to suffer through first?”  It’s a bit dramatic but you’ve always considered yourself a grade A drama queen. 

 

“I was thinking breakfast.”  He shrugs, not at all seeming fazed by your drama.  “And coffee of course.”

 

“That sounds bearable.  _Maybe_.”  You tell him.  “Lead the way.”  Dirk turns to head towards the mess hall and you fall in line to his right.  The both of you manage to keep stride with each other.

 

               4. You could never keep up with Bro.

 

The list of differences between Dirk and Bro is beginning to get longer than you’d like to admit.

 

“What do you feel like?”  Dirk asks as he makes his way to the alchemiser. 

 

“Bacon, eggs and hashbrowns.”  You tell him, despite the fact that you and Rose having yet to manage to successfully alchemise anything close to tasting like bacon, eggs and hashbrowns. 

 

“Got it.”  Dirk puts a code into the machine and your jaw hits the ground as the glorious food you requested appears. 

 

“Holy crap.  When did you figure out how to make bacon and eggs?”  You ask him, looking over and he shrugs.

 

“Roxy likes her food, she literally spent days trying to figure out a pattern in the codes and eventually managed to make it, though I’m pretty sure there was also a lot of guessing involved.”  Dirk answers.

 

“Roxy’s now my favourite person.  Other than Mayor of course.”  You decide.

 

“Mayor is pretty adorable.”  Dirk agrees, passing you your food and punching in the code for ‘Jane’s French Toast’ as you sit down.  Once he has his own food he comes and sits next to you. 

 

               5. Bro would never bother with food like this, just eat sugary and unhealthy cereals.

 

You start to dig in and you swear to whatever gods are above yourself that this is what bliss feels like.  You’ve never been so happy to eat in all of your life.  The only thing that would make this better is if you managed to have a bottle of aj as well.  Then you will have decided you’d actually died and ended up in some strange dream bubble heaven, you just hoped your death was heroic.

 

“This is bliss.”  You comment.  You hadn’t noticed when you stopped holding up the ‘go die’ tone of voice you’d manage to keep every other time you’ve seen him.

 

“Glad you like.”  He replies as he eats.  “Though I highly suggest trying these.”  He said in between bites of the food he’d gotten himself.

 

“What is it?”  You ask, despite knowing full well what French Toast is and having read the food title when he made it.

 

“Jane, the girl would looks like John, made us French Toast after shit hit the fan and finally settled down enough we were all sane.  It’s the best thing you will ever try.”  Dirk tells you.  “This is the longest you’ve ever spoken to me for.”  He adds after a moment and you roll your eyes, ever though you know he’s not wrong.

 

You won’t admit it but it’s actually nice to be talking to him and not just telling him to get lost from the get go.

 

The two of you causally chat as you eat, and even after you finish you both just sit there chatting until Rose joins you both.

 

“Why, are you feeling alright Dave?  You seem to be being nice today dear brother.”  She asks.  “Need I run you a bath or take your temperature?”  Rose smirks lightly as she speaks, getting herself a coffee and sitting down.

 

“No thanks dear sister, actually I feel quite well.  Thanks.”  You reply, humming softly.

 

“Are you sure brother dearest?  I won’t want you to be pretending to be well just so that I don’t start worrying over you.”  Rose says as she sits across from you.

 

“Don’t worry your caring heart sweet sister, I am fine I promise.”  You assure her.

 

“Don’t sit there looking fucking amused if you don’t stop these fuckwits now they’ll be at it for fucking sweeps.”  Karkat’s addressing Dirk as he speaks.

 

“I’m finding it pretty amusing.”  Dirk tells the troll who sits on your other side.

 

“Yeah, well that won’t fucking last long.”  Karkat grumbles.

 

“Sister dear I believe Karkles isn’t fond of us talking.”   You smirk at Rose. 

 

“Oh don’t be silly kind brother, he’s simply jealous you are not drawing dicks together anymore.”  Rose smirks back over the top of her coffee.

 

“I will fucking murder the both of you if you don’t shut the fuck up right this fucking second.”  Karkat growls.

 

“Why you are great energetic for the morning chap!  Perhaps you should come exploring with me today!”  Jake and his way too cheery voice suggests as he sits next to Karkat.

 

“I will cut open your ridiculously fucking weak, pink flesh and pull out your fucking guts if you don’t shut the fuck up.”  Karkat growls, glaring at the other.  You see Jake gulp from the corner of your eye.

 

“Wow aren’t we friendly today nubs.”   You tease, flashstepping to get yourself a coffee and to avoid a punch Karkat aims at you.

 

“Fuck off ass.”   He growls.  “Where the fuck is Egbert?”  He adds after a moment and you fail not to smirk slightly.

 

“Presumably still asleep.”  Rose hums. 

 

“Probably, he and Jade rarely got up less than an hour after the rest of us.”  Dirk agrees.

 

“Other than Roxy that is, who sleeps like a cat.”  Jane enters, sighing softly as she makes herself breakfast.  She looks just as ready to murder someone as you do but Jake doesn’t seem to notice and quickly attempts to join everyone in on a group conversion.  It works, for the most part, and you all end up chatting together until Dirk pokes your shoulder and gestures to the door.  You shrug and get up to leave with him, ignoring the smirk Rose gives you along with Karkat’s muttered ‘fucking finally’ and a look you get from Jake that might be jealousy, or anger, you’re not sure.

 

Dirk leads you to his room, which is just as plain as any other if not for the robotic equipment lying around.  He sits on his bed and gestures for you to do the same.  You hesitate before you go to sit down, leaning against the wall.

 

“You know, most girls wait for the second date before they let the man take ‘em to bed.”  You tell him and he chuckles softly with a rool of his eyes, looking amused or as though he's finding your attitude.

 

“As attractive as you are, I want to get to know you.”  He says.

 

“Oooooh, you think I’m attractive?”  He say, baiting your eyelashes at Dirk ironically.  “How does sitting on your bed translate to you wanting to get to know me?”  You ask.

 

“I reckon a fun game of truth would be best in a comfortable place.”  He shrugs and you roll your eyes, groaning.

 

“Wow you’re cliché.”  You tell him.

 

“I know, but do it for the irony.”  Dirk jokes.  “It is the best way for us to get to know each other, as cliché as it is. So, what’s your favourite colour?”  He’s smirking and you groan again.

 

“Starting this off deep aren’t you.”  You say.  “Blood Orange, I know I never touch the colour but you know.”  You say in your best posh 'i'm a prick' voice.

 

“What a shocker.  Your turn.”  Dirk hums.

 

“What’s your favourite colour?”  You tell him in a mock dirk-voice you've been practising since you met him.

 

“Orange.”  He answers, straight faced and simply, lacking your joking tone.  “Favourite thing about your powers?” 

 

“Nothing.  They aren’t that great.”  You shrug.

 

“Why not?”  He asks, seeming actually interested in your answers.

 

               6. Bro was not overly interested in your day to day life, less so on a bed.

 

“I can literally not lose track of time, it’s an endless ticking noise as every second passes.  Besides I hate messing up everything… watching everyone die, including myself.”  You tell him, sighing.  He hesitates a moment, thinking through your words.

 

“Your turn.”  He ends up saying.  You roll your eyes.

 

“What’s your favourite thing about your powers?”  You repeat his question.

 

“You can’t just copy my questions.”  He rolls his eye, barely noticeable thanks to his shades 

 

“Fine.”  You groan, thinking for a moment.  “What was it like living post apocalypse?”  He thinks for a moment before he finally answers.

 

“Quiet.”  Dirk says.  “There was waves, robots and myself but other than that it was just… quiet.  It was kind of lonely too.  After I was old enough there was all the disks my brother left me and when I was 12 I met Roxy, both of which were pretty cool, but until the game I’d never met another person face to face.”  He tells you and you’ve got to admit that sounds like shit.  The opposite of the life you had with the loud noises and general city-ness of everything.  You take a moment to think of it before you speak again.

 

“Your turn.”  The two of you go back and forth, you find out heaps about the boy you’re not yet ready to admit you don’t hate anymore.  You both go on until you yawn and Dirk suggests you should both get some sleep.

 

It’s the possibly the first time that you’ve been the one to curl up against the sleeping form of Karkat and its not the other way around.

 

Maybe this week wouldn’t be so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I've decided. Bro's gonna have been abusive.


	4. Cosy Pile Forts and Dumb Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three of you spend all day together, hanging out, and it’s not until you head to bed for the night that you realize you haven’t seen Dirk all day. 
> 
>  
> 
> A week ago you won’t believe that would ever make you frown like it does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone wanna become a beta reader for this?  
> Because I am so fucking bag with SPaG omfg.  
> Kail why can't you proof read.
> 
> Also, whats this? A chapter? It's not even been a month! Wow.  
> Yeeeeeah, I've finally caught up with homework (plus nice people sending me nice comments. Love you guys)

  1.    Bro never smiled like that.  Bro smirked, never smiled.
  2.    Bro never called you ‘bro’, as much as you were telling Dirk off for saying it.
  3.    Bro’s voice is deeper.
  4.    You could never keep up with Bro.
  5.    Bro would never bother with food like this, just eat sugary and unhealthy cereals.
  6.    Bro was not overly interested in your day to day life, less so on a bed.
  7.    Bro needed ‘down time’ away from you.
  8.    Bro’s way of cheering you up was sexual release, Dirk lets you talk endlessly.
  9.    Bro was very focused on his needs, with Dirk things feel a lot more give and take, equal.
  10. Even though you promised Dirk your whole week he doesn’t seem to mind you spending time with other people, not like Bro freaked out.
  11. Dirk’s more open than Bro.
  12. Dirk prefers robots while Bro rathered puppets.
  13. Dirk likes to have some with him, even if you don’t talk.  Bro didn’t like to have people nearby without reason.
  14. Dirk is more jumpy than Bro.
  15. Dirk likes to tell you things.
  16. You and Dirk share interests, like drawing.
  17. Dirk likes physical contact, the platonic kind.
  18. Actually he’s pretty clingy, you don’t reckon it’s a bad thing though.
  19. You really like the way Dirk laughs.
  20. Dirk is nothing like Bro.



 

You really hadn’t meant to learn as much about Dirk as you did, honestly you had planned to learn nothing, and yet you learnt enough to actually start to enjoy Dirk’s company by the end of the week, or really the end of day one if you were honest with yourself.  During the week any idea of going back to not hanging out with your ecto-dad-bro after the seven promised days had faded into oblivion and when you wake up on the eighth day you’re ready for another day of ~~dorking out~~ being the coolest knight ever with the coolest prince ever.

 

What you’re not expecting is to be woken up by claws digging into your arm and causing you to yelp as you awaken, sitting up and spotting a clearly distressed Karkat by your side.

 

Not again.

 

You’re quick to your feet out of the path of the claws that attack blindly as the troll twists and turns in his sleep.  You take both his wrists in your hands and pin them to the bed, straddling him and pressing his legs into the bed, forcing him to stay still.

 

“Karkat!”  You shout at the boy as he tries to struggle against your hold.  “Karka-“  He manages to break a hand free, clawing your cheek and causing you to wince, quickly go to grab that hand again.  “Wake up!”  He shout.  “Karkat, you’re hurting me.”  It’s not a phrase you enjoy using often to wake him up, even if it’s true, but it always works.  Kanaya once explained how trolls are very protective of their quadrants; that instinct will take over at the notion of hurting a quadrant mate of any colour. 

 

Karkats eyes, starting to fill with red, open quickly and stare into your own unshaded ones as the troll pants up at you before they dart to the scratch marks on your cheek. 

 

“Shit, Dave, fuck I am so fucking sorry.”  He sounds like he’s about to rant so you quickly cut him off.

 

“Its fine Karkat, I’m fine.  Come on, just catch your breath, I’ll make a pile, we can talk about it.”  You promise him, letting go of him so that he’s capable of moving again.  You get up quickly and begin to form a pile of plush toys, blankets, pillows and other soft things in front of the television in your shared room, trying the pile into a hybrid pile/fort as Karkat sits up and tries to collect himself.

 

This is not something you enjoy being well versed in, this is not something you enjoy happening, by it does, more often than you’d like.  Karkat will be woken up from a nightmare and you’ll spend the whole day try to get him to be okay again.  You learnt rather quickly you need to wake him up rather than let him sleep it through, it’s so much worse if he goes through the whole nightmare. 

 

When the fort/pile is done you look back over to Karkat.  He’s sitting up and looking at his hands, they’re shaking you notice they have a bit more blood, your blood, on them than you thought the small injuries would cause.  Maybe you hadn’t woken up as quickly as you assumed and gotten more injuries then you realized, or maybe the injuries were worse than you thought.

 

“Come on Karkles, time for movies and talking.”  You say softly.  His eyes snap up to you and he whimpers lightly, wrapping his arms around himself.  It looks like he doesn’t really recognize you.  “It was just a dream, it wasn’t real.”  You assure him and he hesitates before running a hand through his hair. 

 

“I’m so fucking sorry.”  He mutters.

 

“Don’t be Karkat, I’m fine.”  You sigh.

 

“No you’re fucking not, you were bleeding, and I ruined your fucking favourite shirt.”  You looked down at the shirt your wearing, it’s an old one that you got from your Bro.  It barely fit you before and now it’s go holes and it’s more or less shredded.  You sigh and pull the fabric off completely.

 

“Who cares, just a shirt, got heaps of ‘em.  Sides, not bleeding now, am I?  Nop.  God tier powers and shit, you can kill me and nothing would happen.  I’m fine.”  You tell him, trying to calm him down.  It doesn’t work.

 

“I didn’t… I- Please tell me I didn’t fucking killing you.”  He said, eyes wide and looking terrified.

 

“What, no, no, nonono.  Just, no.  You did not kill me I swear.”  You promise quickly.  “Come on, let’s just sit down and watch movies, talk it out and shit.”  You say.  He nods and you both bury down in the pile fort after you put in 51 first dates.

 

 

You’re almost finished the movie, with Karkat cuddled into your side.  He hasn’t started telling you what the dream was about and you don’t push.  You’re pretty sure it was about you, maybe some others, dying though considering the way he keeps getting to remind you that you’re fine the way he keeps tracing the diamond on your shoulder and apologizing.  You’re waiting for him to tell you though, so you both sit there surrounded by blankets and watching Adam Sanders’ character get cock blocked by 10 second Tom.

 

You’re waiting is paused though when you here a knock at the door.  You hesitate a moment, looking over to Karkat who jumped at the sound.  The person knocks again and you sigh softly.  “This won’t take a sec Karkles.”  You say softly, getting up and opening the door just a fraction.  You know Karkat doesn’t want anyone knowing when he’s like this, let alone coming in. 

 

“Sup bro.”  Dirk greets.  You honestly don’t mind him calling you that anymore.

 

“Hey Dirk, look Karkat and I are kinda having a movie marathon.”  You say and you kind of feel bad for lying like this but Karkat hates seeming weak and you’re fine lying for him.

 

“Sounds cool, mind if I join in?”  Dirk asks.

 

“No, that’s… yeah no, it’s just the two of us today, sorry.”  You shut the door quickly after and head back to Karkat, going back to watching the movie and just holding him.

 

It takes 2 more movies before Karkat actually tells you want happened in his nightmare, how Gamzee had gone on another rampage and killed everyone, how Karkat had found you all, how he’d found you last and you’d been trying to protect him before Gamzee killed you, how the last thing he saw before you woke him up was your tattooed arm splattered with blood, how he thought it was his fault, how you could’ve flown off if you weren’t protecting him. 

 

You spend the rest of the day convincing him it was a dream, how you’re fine, how everyone’s save and sound and Gamzee isn’t going to go on another rampage ever.  Eventually you both fall asleep in the pile fort and this time you’re not waking up to Karkat having a nightmare.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning Karkat appears to be in a better mood.  By that you mean the both of you actually leave the room.  Something feels off as you sit down and both of you start eating breakfast.  You’re half way finished when John stubbles in and grabs food and you realize.

 

Dirk didn’t wake you up. 

 

You frown slightly but try to push it from you mind as John tiredly greets you and sits on Karkats other side.

 

“Morning.”  He yawns.  “Where were,  hawh, where were you guys yesterday?”  He asks as he takes his first few bites of the e and toast he made himself.

 

“Moirail movie marathon.”  You answer, Karkat having tensed a little at the question, clearly not wanting to lie to John and clearly not wanting to think about the day prior.

 

“Monorail?”  John asks.

 

“Moirail.”  You correct.

 

“Ooooh.  What’s a moirail?”  John asks and you remember he and Jade hadn’t spent 3 years with trolls like you did, or a life time with them like Dirk and Roxy. 

 

“Kinda like best friend, but like best friend of all possible best friends with a sprinkle of family in there.”  You shrug a little.

 

“Awww, I thought I was your best friend Dave, you’re going to make me cry.”  John jokes. 

 

“You’re my best bro John, swear, but Karkat here is my main man.”  You tell him.  “You’re both awesome and I wouldn’t trade either of you for the world, ever, by Karkles will always be my moirail.”  You’re saying it to assure Karkat and you’re pretty sure it’s working.

 

“Gee, someone’s a fucking suck up.”  Karkat teases, smiling a little and you grin back. 

 

The three of you spend all day together, hanging out, and it’s not until you head to bed for the night that you realize you haven’t seen Dirk all day. 

 

A week ago you won’t believe that would ever make you frown like it does.

 

* * *

 

 

Dirk’s avoiding you.  You’re certain of it. 

 

If you were Rose, or spoke to Rose for 5 minutes, she’d tell you that this is exactly how he felt for the weeks you were giving him the cold shoulder.  You aren’t though and you don’t, for that exact reason.  You are a Strider though so you attempt to appreciate the irony while you try to talk to him. 

 

He’s a lot better at avoiding you then you ever were at avoiding him. 

 

Roxy, on the other hand, awesome and almost-as-good-looking-as-jane Roxy doesn’t mind spending time with you.  Normally you’d dance around the topic of Dirk, normally you guys would talk about games or codes or compare this post-apocalypse universe with the one she grew up in.  Today though it’s time to man up and actually talk to her about Dirk, which is something you’re a lot more willing to do without Rose hanging around you both like she normally does.

 

“Ha!  Headshot!”  Roxy cheers as she shots your virtual character.

 

Talking to Roxy about Dirk may or may not have been altered to playing video games until you work up the nerve to talk to her.

 

“Damn Mum, uh Roxy.”  You say as you respawn and start a hunt for the 16 year old virtual Roxy.  “You’re totally cheating since you can actually use a sniper rifle in real life.  If this had swords I’d totally be winning.”  You claim.

 

“Nevaaaah!”  Roxy laughs. 

 

“We totally gotta play some mortal kombat after this round.”  You decide. 

 

“You are so on.”  Roxy agrees, grinning before letting out a cry as you shot her, not a headshot but you still got the kill.

 

“Where’d you even get all of these games?  I though you played Nindento games.”  You ask, quickly going off to search for the respawned Roxy before she can kill you at the scene of the crime.

 

“Weeeeell, Mortal Kombat I’ve got on Xbox, Call of Duty is Dirks though.”  Oh, wow, this gives you the best way to bring up Dirk.  You still hesitate though, faking focus as you manage to kill Roxy again.

 

“Hey, uh, speakin’ bout Dirk.”  You start.  “Mind if I ask you something?”

 

“Awwwwww.”  Roxy huffs, making you frown as you look over.

 

“What?”  You ask, cursing when you realize Roxy killed you when you weren’t paying attention.

 

“Now I owe Rose grist.  You just had to ask about Dirky.”  She complains. 

 

“You know what?  I’m not even surprised Rose bet you I would.”  You groan.

 

“That’s because you both are twin therapist, psychoanalysin’ each other all the damn time.”  Roxy jokes.  “I shoulda known better than to bet against her.”  She gets another head shot.  “So what did you want to know Davey?”

 

“How come he’s been avoiding me?”  You ask after a moment.  Roxy looks over with a frown.

 

“What do you mean?”  She asks and look you over to her.

 

“He’s been avoiding me, whenever I’m in a room he’ll flash step away before I’m even through the damn door.”  You tell her, looking over.  “He hasn’t said a word to me in 4 days and yeah, I know, I kinda deserve it or not talking to him at all when you guys first showed up and ignoring him back then and shit and 2 weeks ago I would’ve been thrilled he was leaving me alone and shit but like that was past me, and past me hadn’t actually given him a chance before but then I did and we were hanging out and gettin’ along and just, I thought we were actually getting close and shit?  But now he wouldn’t even be in the same room with me and I don’t know what I did?”  You tell her, rambling on as you do.

 

“You don’t?”   She frowns.

 

“Of course I don’t, I wouldn’t be asking if I did mum.”  You forget to correct yourself with the term this time.

 

“Dirk said you guys made a deal and that’s why you hung out with him for a week but then you told him to leave you alone and the deal was if you didn’t want to hang out with him after the week was up he’d leave you alone and you’d never have to see him again, remember?”  Roxy reminds you and you frown.

 

“Yeah but I never told me to fuck of- ohhhhh, oh fuck.”  You groan as you realize what happened.  If you’d been in his shoes you reckon the whole thing about the movie marathon with Karkat would have sounded like a fuck off.  “Fuck, no, that, damn that was a misunderstanding.”  You mutter, falling backwards onto the floor.

 

You’ve got to fix this. 

 

* * *

 

 

So you try to fix it.  The next day you try to find Dirk and you almost manage to talk to him.  He’s chatting with Kanaya over human fashion or something and you’re walking up behind him, about to say something, when he turns and realizes you’re there.  There is a second when you both just stop and don’t do anything before he realizes he’s meant to leave, as least he thinks he’s meant to, and you realize he’s wearing a white hat.

 

A cap that makes your heart stop and pound in your chest all at once and you flash step back to your room before you even let yourself take a full breath.

 

Your brother’s hat.

 

It looked so much like Bro’s hat.  He looks so much like Bro.

 

“Dirk isn’t Bro.”  You muttered to yourself as you pace your room.  “He isn’t Bro, he isn’t Bro.”  But he looks so much like Bro.

 

As you walk all you can think about is Bro, the way he looked, the way he taught you to fight, the way he’d cover you in those stupid puppets, or the way he’d always forget to buy food and chew you out when you came asking him for some and yet the food you’d wanted would always be there after you finished cleaning up from a strife, all the strifes you both got into, the feeling of his breath against your throat, or his lips against yours.

 

It’s been so long and you can’t remember how his voice sounded and you can’t remember how he smelt but you can’t stop remembering him and how he raised you.

 

And you can’t stop remembering the way he looked when he was on the ground, bloodied and dead with his own sword in his chest and his cap, the cap that was meant to be white, splattered with the red that you didn’t want to admit was his blood.

 

You do not want to cry, Striders do not cry.

 

Karkat finds you curled up in the corner of your shared room, crying.

 

* * *

 

 

The day after you don’t try to talk to Dirk, you don’t leave the room.  Karkat remakes the pile fort and you spend all day curled up with him as you watch shitty rom coms.  At some point you hear a knock at the door and Karkat goes to answer it.  You think it’s John, and you hear Karkat brushing him off the same way you brushed off Dirk and that instantly makes you feel 100 times more like a horrible person than you already do.  You know those two were starting to get close, you don’t want to fuck it up for Karkat.  Still, you don’t want your moirail to ditch you, not today. 

 

“Karkat?”  You mumble when you feel the troll lay next to you again. 

 

“Yeah Dave?”  He replies with a sigh, running his hand through you hair.

 

“Should I let Dirk keep thinking I hate him?”  You ask, not looking at Karkat as you ask.  Rose may like to remind you how you bet around the bush constantly but with Karkat you don’t need to, doesn’t mean you have the confidence to look him in the eye with important questions though.  You know it’s a pathetic thing to worry about, to have to ask.

 

“Why the fuck would you want him to think you hate him?”  Karkat knows the answer.  You know he knows the answer.   _He knows_ you know he knows the answer.

 

“I don’t want him to have to deal with my baggage.  My problems over Bro.  The fact I can’t see him without thinking of Bro, the fact I can’t think of Bro without thinking of Bro’s body, the fact I can’t think of Dirk looking like Bro without thinking of what Bro was to me, the fact I don’t want to use Dirk as a replacement for Bro, because they’re different and shit and I know that and just…”  You sigh.  “I don’t what him to have to deal with all my shit.”

 

“Dave, we’ve all got shit we’ve got to deal with, a whole fucking lot of it.”  Karkat tells you.  “You can’t let anyone on this whole fucking meteor know you don’t hate them without them having to deal with whatever fucking shit this fucking game has put them throw, pink squishy alien or not.  Why the ever loving fuck do you think I hate every fucking nook sniffer on this hunk of flying space rock?”

 

“You don’t hate anyone on this hunk of flying space rock and we both know it Karkat, everyone on this hunk of flying space rock knows it.”  You sigh softly.

 

“That’s my fucking point.  And as much as I try to act like they don’t know that, and they don’t know I’m dealing with shit I can’t lie to myself all the god damn time, can I?  So who cares what shit you’re going through, he’s going through shit too, just let him know you actually give a damn about him.”  You’re not sure if your moirail gets that he’s actually really good with advice, in his own special way.  “Hell, maybe even tell him what was up with you and your brother, might help him deal with that shit, and prove you’re not just being a moody prick, you’re being a moody prick with legitimate problems.”  You sigh softly and nuzzle into the blankets and alien body next to you.

 

“Maybe…”  You mumble.  “I’ll try to talk to him tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

 

 

For once, when tomorrow comes, you actually do what you said you would.  You wake up ridiculously early so that you’re up before Dirk is, or at least before he comes out of his room, and you head down the halls to where Dirk’s room is.  You knock on the door and wait for Dirk to open it.

 

When he does he has his mouth open like he was going to say something but freezes when he sees you, like he wasn’t so sure what he’s meant to do right now.  He can’t really flashstep passed you, you’ve made sure of that with the way you’re blocking the door.

 

“Sup.”  You say, trying to be causal and calm and you’re so not calm right now.  “Can I come in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha. I finished this off not sure where I'd put the cliff hanger but knowing I wanted a cliff hanger. This was as far down as the chapter was going, there were other places earlier I coulda put it but I didn't. 
> 
> Now, off to the shower and too make a cape.


	5. Nervous Pauses and Dorky Traditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You know… Bro’s fucking dead and theres no hint he’ll come back.” Karkat reminds you and you sigh.

It takes him 136 seconds to respond.  136 seconds feel like a lifetime as you stand awkwardly just outside his door.

“If you want.”  He shrugs, moving aside to let you in.  He’s trying to seem nonchalant, you can tell, but his shoulders are tense and you doubt he’s as calm as his words make him seem.  You wish you could control your own voice as well as he does.  “Did Rose send you?”

“No, no, nothing like that.”  You quickly shake your head and enter the room, movements faster than you want them to be, voice rushing too fast.  You sit on his bed in an attempt to keep from pacing, instead you end up bouncing your foot.  You shouldn’t be nervous, it was just a misunderstanding, but you’re worried Dirks going to decide you’re too much of a hassle to still hang out with.  “Look, I didn’t mean it the way it came out.”  You start and shit, did you have a plan?  You couldn’t remember how you were going to word this, it you even had a way to word it in the first place.  Screw it, you just drive right in.

“Karkat was having a bad day, and he was freaking out, and I’m his moirail, I’m meant to be by his side when he’s upset and freaking out, so that’s what I did, and we sat in this cool as fuck pile-fort and started watching a terrible movie that’s actually his favourite movie.  Then, of course, you came and I couldn’t really hang out with you but I wasn’t going to say that Karkat was feeling like shit, you know?  Cause that’s not cool, he hates people thinking he’s weak and he hates people thinking he’s showing any weakness.  So I just tried to brush you off but literally forgot about the deal we’d made, cause that isn’t something I’ve really been thinking about in like, since day 2.  You’re cool as a cucumber visiting Santa at the North Pole to tell him about this one kid that really wants a pony.  And I don’t want you to not talk to me and I’ve hated all the time you’ve been avoiding me but I guess I can’t really talk cause In avoided you for like, fucking ages, and if you want to be away from me I totally get it.  I just… want to make sure you don’t think I want you to avoid me, cause I don’t.”  You ramble on and when you stop to take a breath, readying yourself for another paragraph long rant on how much you don’t want Dirk to avoid you but the blond steps in, covering your mouth, before you can.

“Dave, geez bro, calm down, okay?”  He’s smiling, just barely, only noticeable if you know him.  You know him.  “My mistake, I just…. I thought I’d gone and gotten my hopes up that someone didn’t find my presence poisoning wrongly again.”  He was trying to say it like it was nothing but it sounds like there’s history there.  You don’t mention it, not right now at least.

“So… you’re not going to avoid me?”  You ask, kinda hating how hopeful you sound as you speak. 

“Only if you watch a movie with me, right now.”  He hums and you grin.

“Sounds awesome.”  You agree. 

You both end up watching something lame and hilarious that Dirk finds he has in his catchelog.  You spend most of it commenting on everything you’d have done differently and it makes Dirk laugh.  You realize you really like making him laugh, and it’s good to hear him laughing again after having him avoid you for so long.

When the movie is done you move to the bed and start to play truth, an ‘ironic’ tradition you’d started since the first time you played it on that first night you hung out together.  It’s not until maybe an hour into the game of questions and answers that he asks the question you’d honestly been praying he’d show no interest in.

“You ever dated anyone?”  Dirk asks, speaking as causally and calmly as ever, as though he were asking you what your favourite colour was.  You, unfortunately, don’t show the same calmness, hesitating to answer.

“Yeah… I have.”  You eventually admit to him.  “You?”  You reserve the question quickly, wanting to talk about something else, someone else.

“Yeah, just Jake…. We, we broke it off a little while before we meet you guys.”  He shrugs.  “We just weren’t right for each other, I… I wasn’t very good for him.” He adds with a sigh.  “So, who did you date?  Was it that clown?”  Shit.  You probably should have completely changed the topic, this was not your smartest diversion and you hesitate to answer again.

“A… a guy, but since the world kinda ended he’s… he’s dead now.”  You mumble, hoping that’s all he wants to know on the matter.

“Not gonna tell me his name?”  Of course he’s not content with the basic answer.  You shrug, trying to play it nonchalant. 

“Don’t really feel the need to, you know?”  You answer.

“Alright, fine, I’m taking your question then though.”  He decides.  You almost sigh in relief, glad he’s not pushing the topic.  “You got a crush on anyone at the moment?”  He asks.

“I…”  You blush despite your best efforts not to.  When did Dirk get so close?  You shouldn’t be blushing, the answers no, right?  Of course its no.  Still, you hesitate to answer and now Dirk has his face mere inches from yours and you aren’t sure what to do about it, or what to do about the sudden dryness of your mouth, the way your voice refuses to work.  You don’t have a crush, right?

And then he’s kissing you.

Dirks lips are soft, dry and cracked but soft and warm pressed against the ones you’ve bruised with constant biting.  You freeze against him, more so then when he’d actually asked the question.  It takes you too long to come to your senses, too long to react and push him away as quick as you can afterwards.

“Wait, wait, Dirk, stop.”  You quickly protest as you push him and he freezes.  Instantly Dirk backs off, giving you room to take a deep breath as you try to retain your composer.

 “Shit, sorry, I though… fuck, I’m so sorry Dave.”  He apologizes as quickly as he pulls away, backpedalling instantly.  “You’re my brother, ecto-son thing, technically at least and I this isn’t exactly right, moral, or whatever, by your society even if I don’t really understand that or have much of a frame of comparison or whatever I still should have taken that to heart.”  He remarks what he considers his mistake and you haven’t known him all that long but he has that face that Karkat gets when he starts beating himself up needlessly over things.

“No, Dirk calm down, just no, it’s not… it’s not that.  Don’t worry I seriously don’t think you’re fucked up or anything like that.”  You sigh, running a hand through your hair but you know he doesn’t really believe you so you toughen up your resolve, after all Dirk’s not going to think you’re fucked up considering.  “It’s… it’s Bro.”  You mumble.

“Dave.”  Dirk frowns at you, his voice deadpanned as he looks you dead in the eyes through both your shades.  “I’m not your bro, that was the whole point of the bet and hanging out with you in the first place, remember?  To convince you I wasn’t him.”

“I remember and I know, I didn’t mean it like it’s because you’re Bro or whatever.  Actually kinda the opposite.  You’re not Bro, and Bro was… well, he was kinda the person I was dating before all this game shit happened.”  You admit to him what you’d only told Karkat.  “Rose said we might be able to bring him… all the guardians back when we win… so, I don’t, I mean don’t get me wrong you’re great and awesome and cool as hell and I love hanging out with you, but I don’t want to start anything cause I’m hoping he’s coming back, and anyway I just don’t feel the same.”  You tell him, convincing yourself of the last line as much as him, though you won’t admit it.  “Friends-slash-Ectobros still though, right?”  You add, hopefully, and he pauses for a moment.

“Of course Dave, ectobros all the way.”  He nods after a moment and you relax.  “Sorry for kissing you like that.”  Dirk adds. 

“Don’t worry about it.”  You shrug it off.  “No big deal.”  He relaxes, knowing he hasn’t ruined the friendship you two have been trying really hard to make and keep or made it awkward.

You end up deciding to put in another movie until you both fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

  
His lips were dry and hot, almost unbearably so.  If you had been older, if you been watching like you were Rose you’d have realized that this had been something that Bro had been working you up to, an end game for a plan you hadn’t realized was in motion, the last beat in a tune you hadn’t know he was playing you too.

It happened during a strife.  Or really at the end of a strife.  You had, unsurprisingly, lost.  But this time you’d lasted longer than you ever had before and you were way too tired to be mad at yourself for fucking up again but at least he hadn’t left another scar.  Instead Bro had shoved you against the air condition, sword pressed against your neck in his victory.

“You win.”  You gave in when you felt the pressure of the sword on your neck increase.  You didn’t look at him, certain he’d be disappointed, certain he’d have that look, that emotionless look, that scolds you harsher than words will ever be able to.

But he didn’t.

Instead he smirked a little, the tiniest bit.  “Good job kid.”  He had said and the words made your heart flatter, had he really just praised you?  Really?  And then his lips pressed against yours and you’d been frozen until he pulled back, kissed your cheek and left.

Psychical contact with Bro, outside the strifes, had been rare but it had been becoming less so, more touches here and there that told you you were doing something right, that he was happy with you, and now he’d kissed you.

You weren’t a baby anymore, you know it was wrong and you knew kissing was meant to be intimate, that it was meant to be shared between two people that were dating and you and Bro weren’t dating.  But… if kissing was something supposed to be so special then maybe… maybe Bro kissing you had just been him telling you how good he thought you were… a way of him showing how much he cared.  You wanted him to care, a desire you’d yet to even admit to yourself.  You wanted him to care about you.

So, if that’s what kissing was meant to mean you decided you wanted him to kiss you again.

He didn’t.  In fact, he didn’t even touch or speak to you all week, and though the latter wasn’t too unusual you don’t even strife.  Not until you came home after school on Friday, having not told a soul about the kiss, and found him sitting on the couch.  Bro gestured to a pizza he’d ordered, a clear sign for you to sit with him so you did, dumping your bag in your room before sitting next to him and taking a slice.

You didn’t say anything for a while, just watching the television for a while before gulping a little as you tried to Bro.

“Bro…”  You started and he grunted in response, a mouthful of pizza as he looks over and you tried not to squirm.  “So… what was up with that kiss?”  You asked.  You waited as he finished his slice for an answer.

“Yeah, just couldn’t ‘elp m’self there lil bro, ya ain’t told anyone, right?”  He just shrugged it off, acting like it’s no big deal.

“No.”  You mirrored his shrug, attempting to copy him.

“Good.” He hummed approvingly and you liked hearing that.  “Ya mad bro?” 

“Mad?  Nah… actually I kinda… liked… it…”  You dragged your words out, the speed of your speech slower as your sentence went it.  You liked it, Bro was being nice, caring, loving, so of course you liked it.

“Ya did, huh?”  Bro smirked a little.  “Well, I could kiss ya again, if ya wanted a’course.”  He added and you hesitated, biting your lip for a moment.  It is what you wanted right?

“That, um, that’d be cool.”  You tried to fake calmness.  He chuckled and moved your chin to kiss you.  His lips are dry and chapped and he’s smirking against your lips.

You lost track of time as he was kissing you, but when he finally stopped he was smirking down at you, and you’re panting up at him, and you’re not sure when but he’d pinned your hands above your head.

“Ya want this to become a regular thing kiddo?”  He asked, kissing you again, softly.  You nodded.

“Yeah.”  You clarified, breathless.

“Well that can be a thing, long as ya promise me ya aint gonna even look at anyone else wantin’ attention.”  There’s a dark undertone to his voice you were too young to pick up on.

“’Course not.”  You agreed.  
                       
“Then why are you in bed with someone else right now?”  Bro growled into your ear, his grip on your hands getting tighter to the point of painful.  Suddenly there's blood on his shirt, a hole right through, and he's eyes turn white behind his shades. 

 

* * *

 

 

You don’t get a chance to reply, waking up in Dirks room with a gasp.  You take a moment to breathe, looking between the sleeping form of Dirk and the ground.  After you catch your breath you stand up as quickly as possible and sneak back to your room, finding Karkat awake and reading when you get there. 

“Hey Karkles.”  You say softly as you head to lay down next to him.

“The fuck have you been?”  Karkat asked, looking from his book to you.

“Dirk’s room, fell asleep.”  You shrug.  “Back now though.”  You yawn.

“Why?”  Karkat hums, looking back to his book.

“Rude.”  You hum.

“You know what I fucking meant asshole.”  Karkat growled.

“Bad dream.”  You shrug.  “Going to sleep now.”  You add, trying to fall asleep.  Karkat sighs.

“You know… Bro’s fucking dead and theres no hint he’ll come back.”  Karkat reminds you and you sigh.

“I know…. I’ll ask Rose in the morning.”


	6. Long-awaited Kisses and Silly Snowball Fights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “By the way Dirk’s awesome and if you don’t date him I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about how long a wait there was for this, school got hetic af
> 
> tumblr version: http://amuseandbored.tumblr.com/post/129420836480/if-you-were-him-and-he-were-yu-6

“Why, this is a nice surprise.”  Rose hums as you pass her a coffee.  “What is it that you’re after dear brother?”

 

“What, can’t I just give you a coffee, dear sister?”  You reply, sitting across the table from her.

 

“You could, but you wouldn’t.”  Rose chuckles, sipping the coffee with her elbows on the table, her legs together in her ladylike fashion while you lounge in your chair with it turned on an angle, only one hand wrapped around your mug. 

 

“Fair enough, so, might as well get straight to the point then.  Unless, that is, you want to continue our fake pleasantries and pretend we don’t both know why I’m here and why I’m starting the fake pleasantries in the first place.  Although could the gift of coffee really be considered a pleasantry?  Tea probably would have been heaps better, damn, I’ve screwed this up, I’ll go and bring you tea so we can fake start things the right way.  Wait, would that be too formal?  Is there such a thing as ‘too-formal’ in the case of pleasantries?  Maybe pull out the whole ‘good day milady’ thing, we do want to fake this r-“

 

“Dave.  Oh my god.”  Rose groans.  “Just tell me what’s bothering you already.”

 

“Right, yes, the thing that’s bothering me, very direct there, yes, well, hm, my coffee needs more sugar, can’t spill my guts without first being properly caffeinated.”  You go to stand up but she gives you _that_ look and says ‘David’ and you sigh, sitting back down defeatedly.  “Is there…”  You start and stop for a second, unsure how exactly you should phrase the question you’d previously had prepared.  “What’s the chance Bro’s going to come back when we win?”  She doesn’t answer for a moment.

 

“Honestly?  Low I would say.  I can’t pretend I at all know what happens when the game ends Dave, but I do know it creates a universe best suited for us.  By the existence of the Condesce in our scratched version of the game we can assume that he’ll come, as did the ancestors of the trolls, but they didn’t die will playing the game, and we have no way to tell if the lusii of the trolls returned.  It’s a fifty/fifty spilt on if he’ll return.  But for now, he’s gone Dave, and Dirk is nice.”  You’re not so sure how you feel about the lengthy answer but the end of it makes your face go red.

 

“I didn’t ask this because of Dirk.”  You claim, even though you both know you’re lying.

 

“Of course not.”  Rose hums, smirking into her cup.  “Doesn’t change that Dirk is nice, and you would make a cute couple.”

 

“I think I hear Karkat calling me.”  You say, standing up quickly. 

 

“What?  I don’t get a thank you?”  Rose smirks, sipping her coffee.

 

“I made you coffee, so no.”  You claim, jugging your own cup before placing it down and heading to leave the dining area.

 

“Rude David.”  Rose calls after you.  “Don’t forget, I John and Karkat don’t get together by the end of the week you lose.”  She reminds.

 

“I know.”  You call back.

 

You sigh to yourself.  Her answer isn’t really the one you wanted.  You wanted a yes or a no, instead you got a maybe no.  Rose is never wrong, but that doesn’t mean she’s always pin point accurate. 

 

She’s not wrong about Dirk being nice though. 

 

“This is so frustrating.”  You groan, walking down one of the many empty halls.  “Maybe I should have a feelings jam with Karkat.  I’ve got all the facts and now it’s just this feeling shit I’ve got to deal with.  But he’s probably chilling with John and I don’t want him to whine about me being a cockblock.   Bulgeblock?  Plus don’t what to risk losing the bet because I was maybe feeling things.”  You rant to yourself.  “There’s always Terezi, but shits been kinda awkward with her and she’s probably with that clown, and god knows I don’t want to be near him.  That god being me.  Clearly Rose is no help.  Jade maybe?  We’re tight, she’s my main girl.  Jade it is then.”  You finish your thoughts and turns on heel, heading back the way you came and heading, instead, down the hallway to Jade’s room.

 

When you get there you knock on the door and hear a grumble and a bang before Jade eventually opens the door.  Her hairs a mess, she’s not wearing her glasses, and she’s in a way too big for her grey shirt and boxers.

 

“Did you seriously just get up?  It’s like 2 in the afternoon.”  You tease and she yawns.

 

“How am I supposed to know that?”  She huffs.  “What’s up Dave?”

 

“Clearly not you.”  You joke.  “But uh, what’s wrong is these this called emotions.  I have 0 idea how to deal with them.”

 

“Isn’t that what Karkat’s for?”  Jade teases back, though she moves aside to let you in and plops back down onto her bed, directing for you to sit with you.

 

“Don’t want to cockblock John and Karkat, you know, gotta win that bet of mine.”  You shrug, laying on the bed with your head on her lap.  She starts to scratch your head as you do so.  She chuckles a bit at the mention of the bet.

 

“So what can I help you with then cool kid?”  She asks and you take a deep breah.

 

“Well, your grandpa died as a kid right, so like, how did you decide it was time to let go of him?”  You ask, speaking incredibly fast.  It takes Jade a moment to actually process and understand what you said.

 

“I… I didn’t really, not until the game started.”  She admits.  “Even now I still miss him and all the times we could have had, like, I used to think about you guys all the time, and what kind of guardians you had and if grandpa would have been like that, and I tried to pretend he was like that, but… I guess when the game started I just… out grew the need for that?  It’s kind of hard to explain really.”  She tries, scratching your head the whole time and thinking for a bit longer.  “One day I guess I woke up and realized I had you guys; that my grandpa was gone and it sucked that I missed out on a father figure but there was nothing that can change that, that I should focus on making my future and present the way I want them to be, not regretting that my past wasn’t.”  She shrugs.  “That help?”  You hesitate a moment, thinking over what she said.

 

“Yeah.”  You nod.  “Thanks Harls.”

 

“Any time cool kid.”  Jade smiles.  “Oh, hey, get off me so I can get dressed, I’ve got the best idea ever.”  She grins and pushes you off her lap and off the bed which makes a noise suspiciously like the bang you heard when you knocked on the door.

 

 

“Ouch.”  You whine and look away as she gets dressed.

 

“Oh don’t be such a baby and go get John and Karkat.”  Jade says, pushing you out of her room and into the hall.  “And tell anyone else you see to be in my room in 30 minutes, make sure you’re wearing something warm.”  She adds.

 

“What is this about?”  You ask as you’re shoved out.

 

“You’ll found out later!”  She smiles.  “By the way Dirk’s awesome and if you don’t date him I will.”  Jade adds as she closes the door and you groan.

 

“Can’t I keep anything you myself?”  You complain to yourself.  "Also, total Bro-Code violation right there Harley!"  You call out to her before heading to John’s room.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You’re not surprised to see Karkat in John’s room, you’re also not surprised they’re watching a movie.  You are surprised that Karkat doesn’t seem to hate it.

 

They’re watching Con Air.

 

“This movie is terrible.”  You groan as you walk in, without a knock of course.

 

“No it is not Dave!”  John complains.  “It’s my baby and I’m sorry I ever left it.”  He says.

 

“It’s not the worst movie he’s fucking forced me to watch at this point.”  Karkat decides.

 

“I am not forcing you to watch anything, you are here by your own free will.”  John says.

 

“It’s not like there’s much else to do on this useless piece of space trash.”  Karkat huffs.

 

“Oh my god this is painful to watch.”  You groan.  “Jade’s called us to her room, I have no idea what for but she told me to tell you guys to come.  And to dress warmly.”  You shrug. 

 

“Now or later?”  John asks, not looking from the tv screen.

 

“In 27 minutes and 50 seconds.”  You say.

 

“Awesome, this movies only got like 10 minutes left.”  John grins.  You groan but sit next to Karkat.

 

“Is this literally all you guys are doing these days?  Watching crappy movies?”  You whine.

 

“No.  Now shut the fuck up.”  Karkat tells you.  You roll your eyes and poke him for most of the rest of the movie, causing multiple hilarious anger bursts.

 

* * *

 

 

The movie actually has 18 minutes and 16 seconds left but Jades room isn’t too far so you watch until the end.  Once it’s over John jumps up and goes to get a jumper. 

 

“Why do you need a fucking jumper?”  Karkat said.  “We’re can we actually go that’s going to need warm clothing?” 

 

“You’ll see.”  John grins and you and Karkat give each other a look.  You shrug and he groans as you both just accept John’s answer and head to Jade’s room.

 

* * *

 

 

Land of Frost and Frogs.

 

Where else?

 

You forgot how cold the planet was and you wrap yourself up in your cape.  Karkat manages to sneak into the cape blanket as well but you don’t mind.

 

Jade had round up everyone else, and you do mean _everyone_ else.  Dirk, Jake, Roxy, Jane, Rose, Kanaya, Mayor, Terezi, and even Gamzee said with you, John, and Karkat looking at Jade expectantly for an explanation as to why she’s gather you all here.  Or well, everyone who wasn’t on the ship looks like they want an explanation, the kids from the ship look completely prepared and excited.

 

“Okay, seriously Harley, what the fuck are we doing here?”  You ask.

 

“Well Dave,” She starts, leaning down.  “I’ve brought everyone here for something I think is very important.”  Jade adds and oh no she isn’t going to-

 

“SNOWBALL FIGHT!”   Jade shouts as she throws a snowball at you.  You use Karkat to block and the cold snow smacks him right in the face.

 

“What the fuck?!”  He shouts but his screech is lost as all hell breaks loose.  John uses his wind to throw snow at Roxy, who ducks behind a tree just in time.  You quickly get away from the confused and annoyed Karkat and make a snowball, throwing it at Jade in revenge.  You manage to hit her and flash away before she can hit you back.  Karkat’s still throwing a fit, not getting what the hell’s going on and you think maybe you should help him out and try to explain it but John beats you to Karkat.

 

He doesn’t explain anything though, he dumps two armfuls of snow right on top of him.  Karkat shrieks again. 

 

“What the hell Egbert?!”  He snaps.

 

“Have some fun Karkat.”  John smiles.  “It’s a snow fight.”

 

“What the fuck is a snow fight?”  Karkat growls.

 

“A fight with snow?  Duh.  Just throw snow at everyone.”  John shrugs.

 

“So…. Like this?”  Karkat leans and throws a crudely made snow ball at John.  It hits him and he grins.  You get distracted when someone hits you.  You turn and it’s Jake, smirking at you.  You throw a large one back but he dodges and it hits Roxy in the back of the head. 

 

“Davey!”  She pouts. 

 

“It was Jakes fault!”  You quickly shout back.

 

“Wasn’t my bad aim chum!”  Jake grins.  Roxy quickly makes a snowball and throws it at you, you dodge by another one hits you.  You turn and see it was Karkat.

 

“Rude.”  You whine.  Another hit this time for Jane.  “They’re ganging up on me!”  You shout and run towards a snow pile, getting hit multiple times as you do so.  Once you’re covered you start to make an arsenal. 

 

And then a gust of wind throws your protection on you. 

 

“John!”  You shout but you just hear giggling.  When you finally manage to drag yourself out of your pile they’ve turned on each other and there’s snow balls flying everywhere.  You look over and see Terezi, covered with snow. 

 

“Cool kid, is this you?”  She jokes, giving a twirl.

 

“Basically.”  You laugh and you think you feel the tension you’ve had since she and Gamzee became moirails melt.

 

“How does a blind girl even join a snowball fight?”  Dirk comments, suddenly next to you and helping you up. 

 

“Clearly she’s losing so that’s how.”  You joke, picking up some snow and dumping it on his head, making sure to mess up his hair with a smirk.

 

“Oh you are so dead.”  Dirk says and you flash off with him blasting you.  You manage to dodge and throw a few back, most missing him.

 

You stop your running when you notice Jade throwing a snowball at Mayor.  Ever the hero, you quickly dash to protect the poor, cute mayor.

 

“Noooooooo!”  You cry, diving to block the snowball in a truly heroic moment.

 

“Dave no!”  John calls as you land dramatically.

 

“John, john, I need to tell you something.”  You say, pretending to cough.  “Come closer.”

 

“I’m here for you Dave.”  John says, coming up and you see Karkat sneaking behind him.

 

“John, I just, I want you to, no, you _need_ to know…”  You start, Karkat sneaking up with armfuls of snow behind him.  “That you, are a dork.”  You grin as Karkat drops all the snow right over John’s head.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

By the time you’re all finally worn out you’re lying on the snow, panting softly.  You needed this.  After all the stress of your possibly inevitable death, of Dirk and Bro, of Terezi, you really needed this break.  You look around to everyone else.  They needed to this too.

 

Jade Harley has officially surpassed you as coolest person ever.

 

You feel someone drop next to you and look over.  It’s Dirk.  Rose said Bro might not come back, Jade said he was nice, Karkat said he was nice, Dirk is really nice.  Bro is gone.

 

“Sup bro.” He greets, he’s got snow all throughout his hair still and you chuckle softly.

 

“Hey man.”  You greet back, sighing contently.  You really don’t mind him calling you bro.  You both lay in comfortable silence a moment before you look over to him.  “So I spoke to Rose this morning, right.”  You start, ready to rant but Dirk stops you.

 

“I know, Roxy told me.”  He says.

 

“Of course she did, those girls gossip as much as they can.”  You sigh.

 

“In their defence there’s not much to gossip about.”  Dirk chuckles.  “You know, he’s gone… and if he comes back well then, it’s him, I get it, no hard feelings.”  He shrugs and that’s something Bro would never have done.  You don’t think you really care what Bro would do though.

 

“I… I, yeah, that, that sounds good.”  You say after a moment.

 

“So… can I kiss you again?”  Dirk asks. 

 

“Yeah.”  You say.  He leans in and this time you are fully aware of how long it takes for his lips to touch yours.

 

Behind you you hear cheering, wooing, whistling, and fake gagging. 

 

“Fina-fucking-ly.”  Karkat groans.

 

“Pay up Karkat.”  Rose smirks, holding her hand out.  You and Dirk look over and watch as almost everyone passes over some boonleans to Rose.

 

“You know what, I’m not even surprised.”  You comment.

 

“Neither.”  Dirk says, getting out a few boonleans and throwing them over to Rose.  “You couldn’t have made up your mind a little quicker?”  He teases.

 

“Wow.  Rude.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally they kiss.  
> Hopefully everyone found this fun to read, I had fun writing it. Also, finally Dave gets over his feelings, everyone cheer for the socially awkward cool kid and his less obviously socially awkward boyfriend.


	7. Shitty Crush Drama and Slow Realizations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stressful chores?” Dirk asks softly, running a hand through your hair softly and making you all but melt against him.
> 
> “No, I thought relationship drama was over, I just want them to get together so that I can win my bet.” You whine.

“Can’t you nooksniffers do this shit in Dirks room?”  Karkat groans from the bed where he’s reading his book. 

 

“You’re just jealous Kitkat.”  You tell him, moving to try to block Dirk’s view.  Of course it doesn’t work, he just rests his chin on top of your head.  Honestly, cheating was meant to be easier when you’re sitting on someone’s lap.

 

“No, you’re just both fucking gag worthy.  And stop calling me, what the fuck even is a kitkat?”  Karkat retorts.

 

“It’s a chocolate that existed before the world ended.”  Dirk told him.

 

“Gag worthy?  You’re literally reading a trashy romance novel right now.”  You say.

 

“That’s completely different.”  Karkat claims.

 

“Bullshit.”  You call him out, trying to push Dirks head off yours, only using one hand to control your Mario kart.  “Why don’t you go chill with John if you think we’re too hot to handle?”  You tease.  Dirk catches your wrist with one of his hands.  You groan and he moves to kiss you.  When he pulls away you realize you drove right off the edge of the road.

 

“Cheating ass.”  You grumble at him when Dirk wins the match.  You look over too Karkat and see him frowning as he pretends to read.  Well shit.  You look back to Dirk.  “Dirk, mind heading out?”  You tell him softly.

 

“Course babe.  Rails before pails.”  He jokes with a smile.  “I’ll see you later.”  He adds, giving you another soft and quick kiss before you both get up.  Dirk leaves and you go sit with Karkat. 

 

“What’s wrong Karkat?”  You ask him as you plop down next to him.  He hesitates a moment, clearly feeling like he’s pulling you away from Dirk but you wrap an arm around his shoulder and pull him close, massaging his shoulder in a way that makes him melt against you with a sigh.

 

“I kissed John.”  He says, mumbling.

 

“I don’t see what’s wrong with that.”  You hum back.  You’re totally going to win the bet now, it’s only been 3 weeks since everyone showed up.  The thought makes you stop a moment.  It’s only been 3 weeks… its felt like a life time.

 

“He’s not a homosexual, remember?  And he didn’t kiss back.”  There’s not even a playful shove, he almost sounds defeated as Karkat talks.

 

“Geez, I thought the relationship drama was over when Dirk and I finally got together.”  You joke.  “He said that 3 years ago, shit changes, and 13 is never a time final decisions are made, well they are sometimes but like most of the time you don’t know everything about others and shit and the point is that was 3 years ago, 3 years that have been full of self-discovery and shit like that.  Did you even wait for him to respond?” 

 

“...no.”  Karkat mumbles after a moment’s hesitation.  “Because I knew I fucked up, don’t really like sticking around to watch something else burn.  I’ve ruined whatever sort of friendship we had.” 

 

“You guys were glued at the hip, you were definitely friends.”  You assure him.  “But there’s no way to be sure about it unless you actually talk to him.  And even if it’s not, John’s a nice guy, he’s not going to cut you off because you kissed him.” 

 

“How do you know he won’t?”  Karkat mumbles.

 

“Because I know John.”  You promise.  “And frankly, my money’s on him liking you back.”  You add. 

 

“You’re meant to be mending my broken heart not getting my fucking hopes up.”  Karkat groans and you just grin.

 

“But then I’d be lying to you Karkat and I could never do that.”  You tell him.  Karkat just groans again.  “So, what’s your book about?”  You ask.  You don’t really follow the plot he gives you, and it sounds a bit boring, but you know Karkat likes it so you listen and tease him pleasantly anyway until Jade knocks on your door and tells you both dinners ready.

 

Since the snowball fight a week ago things have been a little different on the meteor.  There’s been a lot of you chilling out and chatting amongst yourself but there was no sense of unity, you stayed in your little groups in nice little boxes that Karkat probably drew at some point.  You guys sort of ate together if there was already people eating, and you could talk, but you just sort of existed in the same area.

 

Jade’s snowball fight changed that. 

 

The snowball fight broke the sort of structure you’d had set up with mindless fun and she took it a step further by setting up a rooster, with Karkat of course, over who would cook and now you all eat dinner and breakfast together with a two people cooking and a few people cleaning up after.

 

You and Karkat cooked the first night, and you both found you’re pretty okay at cooking having lived in environments where you had to cook for yourselves.  Originally you were planning on just alchemising something but Jade had insisted you had to do it the right way so you ended up with some mix of human and troll food pizza you served.

 

Terezi and Gamzee cooked the next day and they started a fire in the kitchen so they were taken off food duty forever and Dirk alchemized ramen for everyone. 

 

The days went on and you’ve decided the semi-home-cooked meals are the best things ever.  Table conversions nice too.  Most of the time you’re all dicking around when you chat, you’ve gotten close again with Terezi and Karkat’s been picking up where he and Jade left off, sometimes though the conversions turns a bit more serious.

 

After all, as Rose reminded you, the final battle is coming and you’re running out of time.

 

Tonight though you don’t start to make battle plans or backups.  You sit down with Dirk on one side and Karkat on the other and you listen to the conversation of the teens already sitting down, everyone but John and Jade who are starting to serve dinner, and they’re talking about after you all win.

 

Now that you think about it, you’ve never thought about after winning.  The only thing you’ve really thought about is Bro might come back, and now you’re not sure if that’s a good or bad thing.

 

“Well I’ve always wanted to go studying cooking and open my own bakery.  I had everything set up for me before this but if the batter witch is gone I suppose I won’t, and even if not I still don’t want to be her heiress anymore.”  Jane says, thanking John when he hands her a plate.

 

“I do not believe you need to study cooking, you’re already quite a good café is yesterdays dinner is anything to go off.”  Kanaya comments and you fondly remember the quiche she’d managed to make the night before and the cake that had come after that John had refused to eat.

 

“Thank you.”  Jane blushes a bit and smiles.  “But back home you need some qualifications to be able to cook professionally.”  She says.  “Plus I wouldn’t mind going to school, my dad was very overprotective so I’ve always been home-schooled.”

 

“Lucky.”  John whines.  “My dad thought school would help me ‘gain character’.”  He says.  “It was terrible.”  He adds, sitting down with his own dinner.

 

“School sounds fun!”  Jade says, sitting down as well.

 

“School was shitty.”  You say.  “Though bro pulled me out to home school when I was 12.” 

 

“Am I the only one who was actually going to school?”  John groans.

 

“Well Dirky and I were the only humans left in the world so school wasn’t really a thing.”  Roxy hums.

 

“We were taking online course though, or at least I was.”  Dirk adds.

 

“I grew up on an island and I was much too busy to be taking any courses.”  Jake admits.

 

“I was going to school John.”  Rose hums, smirking lightly at John’s distressed face.

 

“Didn’t you go to some fancy private school?”  You ask.

 

“Yes, quite fancy.”  Rose grins and John groans.

 

“Did trolls have school?”  Jane asks.

 

“Fuck no.”  Karkat scoffed.  

 

“Trolls don’t come face to face very often.”  Kanaya explains.

 

“Normally ends in a motherfucking bloodbath.”  Gamzee chuckles.  Terezi shoves him lightly. 

 

“We learnt everything from what we’ve been let and from out lusus.”  She hums.

 

“So basically human schooling.”  John groans.  “This is so unfair.” 

 

“Anyway, school talk aside, what do you plan on doing when the game ends?”  You ask him.

 

Everyone goes on, giving things they want to try and want to do.  John wants to take science seriously, Rose wants to go to college, you want to try archaeology, Roxy wants to go to parties, Terezi wants to see a human trial, Kanaya wants to go to the Paris that she’s heard about from Rose, Gamzee says he doesn’t really give a fuck what happens, but Karkat doesn’t know. 

 

“Everything I wanted is probably gone, and I don’t want that anymore.”  He mumbles.  “I just… I don’t know.  I just want to not be in danger 200% of the time.”  He shrugs.

 

“Wow, that was cheesy karkles.”  Terezi teases.

 

“So motherfucking lame karbro.”  Gamzee mocks as well, crueller than Terezi.

 

“Don’t fucking call me that.”  Karkat snaps back.  Despite Jade’s ability to bring together everyone she could not fix Karkat and Gamzee’s relationship and you were fine with that honestly.

 

“I like the idea of not being in danger all the time too.”  John seconds.  “Don’t be such a dick to him Terezi, geez.” 

 

“I was teasing, learn to take a joke Egbert.”  Terezi mocks back. 

 

“The point is, we’re all looking forward to this being over.”  You say, putting in between to try to stop the fighting before it ruins the really good dinner John and Jade made.  Everyone makes noise of agreement and you all start to talk about certain places and things you want to do after it’s all over, not just goals. 

 

When dinners over you and Karkat are on dish duty, cleaning up after everyone.  The second they’re all gone he goes back to his old conversion. 

 

“What am I going to do?  Do I bring up the kiss?”  He asks, clearly the table.

 

“Probably, you should at least talk to him.”  You instruct.  “In fact, go do that now, I will do the cleaning up, you go talk to John.  This is important, I am _willing_ doing chores for this.”  Karkat hesitates a moment before talking a deep breath. 

 

“Alright.”  He says.  “I’m not going to be like you and spend for-fucking-ever beating around the fucking bush.”

 

“Rude.”  You reply, shoving him lightly.  Karkat hesitates again and so you, the loving moirail you are, shove him towards the exit.  He takes a deep breath and leaves and you’re proud of him for a moment before you groan as you realize you just doubled your work load.

 

When the chores are finally done and Karkat’s still yet to come back you head to Dirk’s room and when you don’t find your boyfriend there you head to Roxy’s.  They’re sitting and watching a movie when you enter.  You groan and plunk down, laying with your head in Dirk’s lap as you turn to watch some movie you don’t know that they were watching.

 

“Stressful chores?”  Dirk asks softly, running a hand through your hair softly and making you all but melt against him.

 

“No, I thought relationship drama was over, I just want them to get together so that I can win my bet.”  You whine.  Dirk chuckles softly.

 

“Clearly you were too caught up in your own drama to notice there’s was running during ours too.”  He tells you.

 

“Shut it.”  You huff and he chuckles softly still but leans down and kisses you.

 

“Guys, you’re cute and all but movie.”  Roxy interrupts.  You turn your attention to the screen and try to get interested but Dirk’s attention to your scalp quickly sends you too sleep.

  

* * *

 

 

You opened your eyes with a yawn, looking up to Bro as he played with your hair and tucked you further into his chest.

 

You felt so giddy but you had to hide it, keep the poker face he taught you, his chest was so warm.  You don’t remember having slept with Bro even platonically before this and so it felt special and safe and nice.  

 

“Dave.”  He hummed softly, voice gruff and nice.  You made some noise to tell him you were awake and listening to him.  “Ya know I love ya, right?”  He asked and your heart fluttered in your chest it took all your will power not to show how giddy you felt from that but you couldn’t keep from grinning into his chest.  You could count the times he’s said that on one hand. 

 

“Of course Bro.  I love you too.”  You replied, though you never really did know for sure, so hearing him say it meant so much.

 

“Good, ‘cause ain’t no one gonna love ya as much as I do lil man.”  He hummed.  “No one, got it?”  You nod against his chest, though your smile flatters a moment at the tone.  “If ya ever leave ya gonna be alone ‘cause only I love ya.  Someone else is just gonna hurt ya, like those people ya thought were ya friends at school, it’s why I pulled ya out.”  He added, and you frowned slightly.  You still kind of missed your friends.  You didn’t think they were trying to hurt you when they poked the bruises.  “Even when I hurt ya I love ya, I just do that cause I’m upset with ya but I don’t want to leave ya.  And ya better not leave me, got it?”

 

“I won’t Bro.”  You promised him, mumbling softly.  His hands were kind of gripping your hair now.

 

“Say it clearer Dave, gotta sound like you mean it.”  He growled softly, pulling your hair back to make sure you looked at him.

 

“I’m not going to leave you Bro, I promise.”  You told him, clearly and louder this time as you tried not to wince while your hair was pulled.

 

“And Striders don’t break promises, or else, right Dave?”  He growled. 

 

“Right Bro.”  You gulped lightly. 

 

* * *

 

 

You wake up with a start, panting softly.  It’s only been about 10 minutes and 56 seconds since you feel asleep.

 

“You okay Dave?”  Dirk asks, a barely readable worried look on his face.  You take a few deep breaths and nod, burying your head in his shoulder.

 

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine.”  You mumble into his shoulder.  “Bad dream.”  He holds you tightly. 

 

“What could be scarier than the game we’re in right now?”  He jokes, rubbing your back softly and trying to help you came down.

 

“Don’t remember.”  You lie.  You do remember, your dreams about Bro have been getting more and more frequent lately but this one wasn’t morphed by guilt, it was just a memory.  You’re starting to think that Bro wasn’t really as good as you’d always told everyone, including yourself, he was.

 

* * *

 

 

One day you’ll stumble down the meteor hallways, clutching your red side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best, sorry guys.


	8. Endless Shaking and Final Hellos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I started the game by making sure to stick to the main timeline Dirk, every time a Dave didn’t they went back and told me how to fix it then they died. It’s just… sort of normal I guess?” You try to explain. “So, what did he say?” Dirk doesn’t look like he agrees with you at all but you really don’t get the issue. All the same Dirk gives in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also titled: Confusing battle scene and Sad Dave  
> this is 13 pages long but actually not a long chapter  
> you'll understand soon.

You’ll stumble as you walk the grey halls.  It will look the same and the red will stand out, almost glowing against your side.  The morbid joke that it’s almost like your shirt is melting will make it into your mind and you’ll chuckle to yourself.  You’ll shut up after the chuckle turns into a sob.

 

You won’t let yourself cry, you’ll remind yourself you have to focus. 

 

You’ll continue your stumble until you’ll meet Dirk’s eyes.  Relief will wash over you but quite the opposite look appears on his face.  He flash steps over, hands resting where you’ll be bleeding.

 

“Shit Dave, what happened?  Fuck, we need to get you to Rose, or Kanaya, fuck.”  He says, voice rushed and tone frantic.  You’ll ignore him and wrap your arms around tightly around his neck, pulling yourself against him.  You’ll get blood on his shirt, and the feeling of another body pressed against your wound will make you wince but you’ll do it all the same.

 

You’ll just stand there, breaths shaky and uneven.  They’ll be more wheezes than anything else.  You’ll just take in the frantic rise and fall of his chest, the warmness of his body. 

 

“Sorry.”  You’ll eventually say.  “This is probably a much bigger deal to you than to me.”  You’ll talk into his ear, voice quiet and laced with pain.  You’ll move to look into his eyes, close enough to see them through his shades.  You’ll realize you won’t have yours on you.  You’ll suppose that it’s fitting.  “You’re okay though.”  You’ll smile a bit and lean in, kissing him as firmly as you’re numbing senses will be able to manage.

 

“Dave, what happened?”  Dirk asks fearfully and you’ll know he doesn’t want the answer; that he knows what’s happening to you, knows you’re dying.  You’ll answer him all the same.

 

“Lord English.”  You’ll say, turning to cough blood somewhere that’s not his face.  He tenses up and you’ll feel you’re time nearing its end.  The ever present ticking will be louder than ever.  You’ll bury your head in his neck and silently curse yourself for all the drama, silently curse yourself for not being with him from the first second that you could.  You’ll feel the pain start to fade and you’ll wonder if you ever really felt the pain to its full extent anyway. 

 

“I love you Dirk, I’m sorry.”  You’ll whisper.  “7 hours, on the roof, right side.  The enemies already here though, heh, just ask Rezi.”  Your voice will get quieter.  “Dead Dave’s are the enemy.”  You’ll not be sure how much of that he hears before the chiming of a clock hitting Heroic will go off and everything will go black.

 

 

Expect none of that will ever happen because you’re not that Dave and you never will be.  Instead you walk the halls and find Dirk shaking, a dead Dave resting his head on the others shoulder.  Dirk’s shaking, his crying, he’s in shock. 

 

You’re not, and you don’t really get how he would be.

 

“What’d he say?”  You ask Dirk, because you know you had to have said something.  Dirk looks up like he’s seen a ghost.  He looks from you to the body and his head still takes a while to catch up before he carefully places the body down and hugs you tight.

 

“Dude, calm down.”  You roll your eyes.

 

“I thought you were dead.”  He mumbles.

 

“Nah, time powers Dirk, kinda come in handy.”  You shrug. 

 

“Can’t you even pretend to be shaken?  For my sake?”  He sighs.

 

“Why would I be?  It’s just another dead Dave from another doomed timeline.  Just like his Dirk’s dead, so his Karkat, his John, and everyone else.  It’s not like I know any of them.”  You say.

 

“And you don’t care?”  Dirk frowns.

 

“I started the game by making sure to stick to the main timeline Dirk, every time a Dave didn’t they went back and told me how to fix it then they died.  It’s just… sort of normal I guess?”  You try to explain.  “So, what did he say?”  Dirk doesn’t look like he agrees with you at all but you really don’t get the issue.  All the same Dirk gives in.

 

“He said Lord English is going to be here in 7 hours, on the right side of the roof.”  He tells you. 

 

“Shit.”  You mutter.

 

“Yeah.”  He says.  He’s still shaking.  You’re not sure he can stop now that he’s started.  You can’t blame him either. 

 

“We should tell the others.”  You say.

 

“Yeah….”  He mumbles.

 

“Dirk?”  You frown slightly.  “Are you still upset about the dead Dave thing?”  You sigh.

 

“No, Dave.  What if you die?  This you?”  Dirk tries to make it sound like a sigh but its an obvious fear.  You’re a little surprised by the question.  It makes sense though, after all, he did just see a version of you die.

 

“I won’t Dirk.”  You promise softly.  “Every time a heroic Dave dies he goes back and warns me, and I’m not a heroic Dave, so I’ll be fine.”  You reason.  He sighs softly and presses his lips to yours softly.

 

“I’m glad you’re alive.”  Dirk says softly against your lips.  “Let’s go.”  He takes your hand and leads you to the others.  You leave the dead body where it is. 

 

The whole time you explain what happened he doesn’t stop holding your hand, the few times he does he rests his head on your shoulder, or his hand.  The point is that the whole time you’re planning for the attack he doesn’t stop touching you, no matter how many assurances you whisper.  Jake spends the whole time glaring at you.

 

You don’t mind him touching you but he doesn’t stop shaking either.  If anyone else notices they don’t say anything.

 

 

You all stand in the room that enters the roof as the minutes tick down the final hour.  Everyone’s here but no one’s talking.  Jade had worked so hard to make sure you were all comfortable with each other and now no one can talk. 

 

You’ve already finished the plan.  You, Dirk, Karkat, and Kanaya will be the close quarter’s attacks, each taking Lord English from a different direction.  Gamzee will be further off, attempting to use ‘chuckle voodoos’, a concept explained to you by Karkat a year or so ago, to gain the upper hand.  Terezi will also be using her powers, calling out shorts for you all.  If they fail at that they’ll join you and the other in close range.

 

Jade, Roxy, John, and Jake will take the back.  Jade, Rose, and Jake will use there long distance weapons while John will use his wind.  Rose will be back with them, calling shots as she can, much like Terezi, though her focus will be looking for the door out.  If she fails she’ll join the fight using her needles.  Jane will also be back, waiting to try to help anyone with her powers should she need to.

 

And you’re all hoping she won’t need to.

 

Without planning there’s nothing more to say though.

 

You sit on Dirk’s lap, cuddled into his chest.  You’re not sure he’d let you move away if you wanted to.  You’re going to be on opposite sides on Lord English when he comes after all.  Karkat sits next to you both, holding his knees to his chest.  On your other side is John, whose watching everyone, worrying his lip.

 

Rose and Kanaya sit in a corner, cuddled together.  In another corner sits Terezi and Gamzee, the latter not even wearing his make-up anymore.

 

Jade, Jane, Roxy, and Jake sit together across from you. 

 

No one talks.

 

Time ticks on.

 

Dirk’s still shaking.

 

No one talks.

 

Jake is glaring at you.

 

15 minutes.

 

Terezi sends you a forced smile, you force one back. 

 

You’re meant to call out when there’s only 5 minutes left.

 

You’re scared.

 

Dirk’s still shaking.

 

It’s so quiet.

 

John clears his throat. 

 

Everyone looks over instantly.

 

“So guys, final battle and uh, stuff.”  He starts.  “Um, I figured a pep talk was in order?  I guess?  I’ve got to admit I don’t know what I’m doing.”  He sighs.  “But, really, at what point have any of us here actually known what we were doing or if we were doing it right or any of that.  It’s just been guess after guess after guess, and yet, we’ve gotten pretty far, right?  I mean, we’re about to battle the final boss guys, that’s kind of awesome on our part, so we’ll be fine… and we don’t know what’s going to happen when the game ends but, whatever it is, I’m really glad I meet you all.”  His voice gets more confident as he speaks and he smiles at you all when he’s finished. 

 

You’re impressed.

 

You feel… pepped.

 

“As dorky and cheesy as he put it, I’m glad I meet you all too.”  You decide.

 

“Dirk most clearly.”  Karkat grumbles teasingly.

 

“Sorry, who are you?”  You joke back and he smiles at you. 

 

“I’ll admit you weren’t all horrible.”  He decides. 

 

“Oh!  I’ve got an idea, let’s do introductions again!”  John suggests.  You all sort of freeze for a moment.  At least every not Harley-Egbert-Crocker-English does.

 

“I’ll start us off again!”  Jake smiles.  “I’m Jake English, and it was a pleasure meeting you all, and no matter what happens next I’m glad I did.” 

 

“I’m Jade Harley and you’ve all been so amazing I can’t even remember how I was ever okay with living alone.”  Jade, to his right, says next. 

 

“My name’s Jane Crocker.”  Jane says, she looks almost like she’s going to cry.  “It was very nice to meet you all, I’ll try my best.” 

 

“My names Roxy Lalonde, or ‘Mum’ to a select one, or sometimes two.”  Roxy grinned, winking at Dave.  “And I’m so glad I got to meet you all, at least something good came out of this.”

 

“I’m Rose Lalonde, as I’m sure you’re all well aware, and you’ve all been the ‘light’ of my life.”  Rose says, wiggling her eyebrows.  She earns some chuckles and some groans.  You boo her for her efforts.

 

“My name is Kanaya Maryam and, despite our previous troubles, I’m proud to be sitting with you all.”  Kanya smiles and you almost wonder if you should have been calling her mum instead of Roxy.

 

“And I’m John Egbert, the boy whose super glad I meet you all, despite someone not appreciating my cheesy-ness.”  John jokes.

 

“Why’s everyone picking on me?”  You whine. 

 

“I’m Dirk Strider, and I promise I’m going to protect you all to the death.”  Dirk says, pulling you a little closer.

 

“I’m Karkat fucking Vantas and I’m thrilled to have met you all, you’re all the most amazing people and I adore you.”  You say.  “At least that’s what Karkat’s thinking.”

 

“Now who’s picking on who?”  Karkat rolls his eyes.  You chuckle softly.

 

“In all seriousness, I’m Dave Strider and I’m actually kind glad I played this game, if only because of all of you.”  You admit.

 

“I’m Karkat Vantas and I… actually kind of like you all, okay I said it, it’s never happening again, no one mention it.”  Karkat finishes, so naturally everyone says something about it.

 

Until an alarm in your head goes off and you sigh.  “Time to clock on to work.”  You say, adding an eyebrow wiggle.

 

Rose boos you.

 

You deserve it.

 

Its silent again as you all go upstairs and take position.

 

You await the five minute count down.

 

Lord English attacks from the left.  A few ghosts follow him but you’re barely aware of them as the debris of him landing flies at you all.

 

You’re not prepared enough.

 

“Jane!”  Roxy screams and you watch your last line of defence fall to the floor.  The attack does nothing but Lord English comes towards her anyway.  Roxy misses it when Jane gets up again, her death neither heroic nor just. 

 

You race forward to attack him from behind, as does Dirk.

 

It does nothing, you’re flies to him. 

 

He steps on Roxy.

 

Jane gets in the way.

 

This time it’s heroic. 

 

“Strider, stab don’t slash.”  Terezi calls.  You give her a thumbs up.  You barely hear a wince.  You’re not sure what the others are doing anymore, all you can see is a flurry of attacks surrounding the green monster.

 

You can’t pull the sword out. 

 

Lord English flicks you away and you prepare for impact, the wind around you surrounds you and slows you and you land elegantly, breathing a sigh of relief.

 

You don’t have time to thank John. 

 

You race into the fray again.

 

At some point Rose is too distracted, you’re sure she’s almost found where the door will appear. 

 

Lord English shots at her. 

 

Roxy saves her.  Heroic.

 

Each tick resounds in your head painfully.

 

You have to focus.  You lose three more swords.  You’re only distracting him. 

 

“Rose we need a weak spot.”  You call, looking over.  She’s attacking him with her needles, revenge clear on her face.

 

You’re quick, you manage to pull her away.

 

“Weak spot.  Focus.”  You tell her.  “Don’t make me pull out the high school musical references.”

 

“Karkat!”  John screams.  You turn.  He’s lying dead, crushed

 

He got to close. 

 

You feel something snap.

 

You see John snap. 

 

Revenge is clear as he attacks.  His hammer lands a hit on the monsters arm.

 

The arm hangs limp.

 

A shots fired.  John falls to the floor.

 

 

“Dave!  Give me a hand!”  Dirk screams.  You snap back into focus.

 

“Rose, weak spot.”  You say, dashing into the attack again. 

 

You go for the face.

 

He dodges.

 

You still manage to bury a sword in the joint of his good arm and he screams.

 

You wonder who else is dead, you can’t hear a clock go when the non-gods die.

 

“John’s hammer!”  Rose shouts.  “Hit his gun with the hammer!”

 

You dash towards the hammer. 

 

You feel yourself shoved to the side.

 

You see Dirk become bones and ash and you scream and then everything goes a shade of black.

 

You know you picked up the hammer.

 

You know you hit the gun.

 

But you don’t know how you ended up on a platform with 4 doors, looking over the dead bodies on the battle field.

 

You don’t know what happened to Kanaya, or to Gamzee, or to the ghosts you barely know that lay near them.

 

Rose puts her hand on your shoulder and you look behind you. 

 

There’s a red door, a purple one, a green one, and a purple one.

 

There’s a girl with plaids, you think Karkat described her one to you.  You can’t remember her name.  Terezi looks shell shocked still.  Jake looks worse for wear.  He looks like he’s going to cry.

 

There’s no one else. 

 

5 of you.

 

All this pain, all this sacrifice, for 5 people.

 

One of which isn’t even alive.

 

“We have to go Dave.”  Rose tells you.  You turn back to the battle field.  To the ash that is Dirk, the boy of John, the body of Karkat.

 

You don’t want to leave them like this.

 

“They’d want us to win.”  Rose says softly.

 

You feel her hand shaking.

 

You look to the body of Kanaya.

 

You think maybe it’s you that’s shaking.

 

You don’t know how you make it to the door, but you do. 

 

Rose opens it, the others open the doors that represent their games. 

 

Yours is the green one.

 

Jake stands in front of the red on. 

  
He opens it.

 

“Jake.”  You say softly.

 

He says nothing.

 

“They’ll be on the other side, right?”  You ask.  You know what Rose will say if you ask her.  You know what Terezi will say.

 

You know Jake hates you.  He won’t lie to protect you.

 

“I want them to be.”  Jake says.  “They _have_ to be.” 

 

“Let’s do this together.”  Terezi says.  You see them all nod. 

 

“One,” Jake whispers.

 

“Two,” Rose’s voice is shaking.

 

“Three.”  The stranger finishes. 

 

They step forward.

 

You look back, 

 

You look to the universe that wasn’t made right.

 

You look to the game doomed to fail.

 

You look to the meteor you meet your best friends, one for the first time, the other after years of hoping.

 

You look to the ash of a boy who taught you to start again with a strife. 

 

How are you meant to start again without him?

 

You turn to the door. 

 

It’s what he would have wanted, right?

 

“One… two…. three.”  You step forward.

 

Everything goes white.

 

That damn roof still isn’t broken.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts guys.


End file.
